What if happiness wasn’t as simple as we make it out to be? Behind the mantras of “positive thinking” and the promises of serenity lies a much more subtle reality. What we think we have control over may just be an illusion shaped by invisible forces.
Happiness, a myth of will?
Can we choose to be happy like we choose clothing? The idea appeals, but it holds up poorly under scrutiny. Psychologists and psychiatrists point out that happiness is a much more subtle construction, woven from emotions, habits and contexts.
Psychologist Amélie Boukhobza explains that happiness does not come down to a simple conscious decision: it depends on our desires, our experiences and the way in which we give them meaning. As for the psychiatrist Joachim Müllner, he adds that “”if it were enough to want to be happy to be happy, there would simply be no more psychotherapies“.
What science reveals about our well-being
Neuroscience shows that our emotional state results from intertwined factors:
- Biological: our brain is programmed to first detect danger, an evolutionary legacy that makes it difficult to perceive the positive;
- Psychological: our past and our thought patterns color our way of feeling happiness;
- Social: our surroundings, culture and economic context shape our inner balance.
Joachim Müllner recalls: “Our brains make decisions long before we are aware of them“Believing that we have full control over our emotions is therefore more myth than reality.
How to cultivate happiness every day
However, giving up the idea of “choosing to be happy” does not mean giving up. Amélie Boukhobza underlines: “Remaining passive in the face of an unsatisfactory situation only leads to apathy“Happiness is built through action: giving meaning to what we do, practicing gratitude, maintaining sincere connections and accepting uncomfortable emotions.
Joachim Müllner compares this process to “brain physiotherapy”, where each emotional effort creates new neural pathways. Because, as Amélie Boukhobza reminds us, “we must fight our natural tendency to focus on what is wrong“. Happiness is not a fixed state, but a daily work against our instincts.