Between managing meals, evening homework, disputes to arbitrate and laundry that never ends, parents often find themselves out of breath. However, an unexpected antidote could well help to lighten this busy daily life: pleasure. Not just orgasm, but anything that allows the body and mind to breathe and reconnect with itself.
Pleasure, an antidote to parental stress
If orgasm triggers a real neurochemical fireworks display (dopamine, oxytocin, endorphins, etc.), it is not the only element that matters. Consulted, the sexologist Paolo Furgiuele also invites us to move the spotlight slightly:
“Beyond the production of neurotransmitters, I would especially talk about the search for pleasure rather than regular orgasms. Pleasure regulates stress, improves mood and reactivates the feeling of existing as a subject.”
A good point for those who do not give up doing good.
In short: before even talking about performance or frequency, it is about finding a presence of oneself, a moment where one ceases to be only a parent and becomes a full human being again.
And when a parent breathes better, gives themselves time, and reconnects with their feelings, they naturally become more available to others — especially their children.
A valuable model for children
That’s not all. According to the psychoanalyst and sexologist, “a parent living their desire, whether classic or more open, offers a precious model“. Not a sexual model (obviously!), but an emotional one. That of an adult who knows how to listen to himself, respect himself, and allow himself to exist other than in the gift of himself.
“An adult who gives himself time demonstrates an inner authorization to enjoy. This ability to grant himself pleasure, to remain a desiring subject, nourishes psychological balance”he explains.
A balance that affects the entire home. In short, a fulfilled parent is a parent we want to be like!
Finding desire together (or otherwise)
In his office, Paolo Furgiuele sees many couples disoriented after a pregnancy or the arrival of a child. No wonder: short nights, mental load and responsibilities often dull desire. But then how can we reconnect with pleasure?
“Many consult to find a space of desire, sometimes by exploring new forms such as threesomes or swinging.“, he testifies. Not out of superficial fantasy, but as an assumed attempt to reactivate the vitality of the couple.
But pleasure can also come through masturbation, an essential intimate space. Like Catherine S, who testifies in the Huffpost that she has become a better mother, since she allows herself weekly, short quarters of an hour of solo pleasure .
“Masturbation creates a relationship with oneself. It refocuses and soothes“, recalls the expert.
In short, it is not just a question of sexuality, but of vitality. Of breathing. Of self-rediscovery, which counts.
Because a living parent… is a better parent
Finally, it is important to remember that pleasure — in all its forms — is neither a luxury nor a whim. It’s a resource. A way to recharge, to find calm, desire, gentleness. And a parent who allows himself this gives his child much more than material comfort: he offers him the model of an adult who knows how to take care of him. A valuable lesson in a world where we are constantly running.
And which is summed up in a single sentence: “Enjoy. Your children need living parents” concludes Paolo Furgiuele.