Bringing forward your departure by one or two days, or even more, and going on vacation earlier, this has become common in (certain) French families, even when the children at school are older. However, the question is debated: do we have the “right” to miss days of school or college for this reason? Can we take it? Is this so anecdotal?
A less taboo subject than before
Many no longer really ask the question. In a context of increasing vacation costs, offers to go cheaper appear as solutions. It doesn’t matter if the children miss a few days of school. Last May, a survey carried out by the reservation platform Lastminute.com through Opinionway demonstrated this: 43% of French people today consider it acceptable to miss school one or two days… Especially when the children are in primary and middle school (probably because these class levels are not correlated with obtaining of a diploma, except in 9th grade). According to the same source, more than three quarters of French people (77%) do not even feel any discomfort at the idea of making a student miss school. However, the decision is not so trivial.
Learning still disrupted
Can missing a few days of school really impact your child’s education? For Dr Stéphane Clerget, child psychiatrist, consulted by True Medical, the subject is not as light as it seems. “The only levity here is that of the parents who think that all this is of no consequence.”
he asks. In reality, for the child, this decision is not neutral.
“Depending on the number of days taken, this can still disrupt learning, because every day counts, particularly in subjects which may present difficulty for the child. There is an educational continuity which is linked in a logical way… to which the child will not have access”, advances the expert.
He or she may also face difficulties in catching up in lessons and homework.especially since he will not always be able to count on the support of the teacher, if he is opposed to it.
According to the expert, group dynamics are also impacted, the absence of one or more children penalizes the group of those “who remain”. Finally, at school this can also give a bad image of the child to others. “Some will put aside a little the child who is not following the rules, like them. For integration, it’s average.”
A questioning of priorities
Beyond the possible delay in class, Dr. Clerget also sees another, more annoying problem: that of what you transmit.
“By making this decision, especially if it is recurrent, it gives the child the idea that school is ultimately not a priority and that the role of the teacher (and teaching) is not so important. And that the holidays come first. However, taking school seriously, for the child’s motivation, is fundamental. It is already difficult to instill this motivation over time, as the subject seems sensitive to me.”
An option that must remain exceptional
So are you bad parents if you considered leaving your family the day before the holidays? Or further? For Amélie Boukhobza, psychologist, it ultimately depends on the context and preparation.
“Of course, escaping early still raises questions about the relationship to rules, education, and family priorities. It can also make people believe that a rule can be circumvented if it does not work out, which is problematic.” But according to her, quality time and family needs sometimes take precedence, without that being a bad thing.
“What matters is the regularity of these absences and the intention that motivates them. If it becomes a habit, we can indeed wonder if it does not reflect a difficulty with authority or obligations. But if it is exceptional, well explained to the child and planned with the teacher, it can also be a way of showing that the system is not immutable. The key is to respect the overall balance!”