Zizi, bitch, pussy, even apricot… Let anyone who has never described their child’s private parts with a cute and childish nickname, out of embarrassment or simplification, denounce themselves. However, more and more voices are being raised: it would be necessary to share with them the real, more accurate anatomical terms. So should we call a spade, a spade, to better arm them from an early age?
“Cute” words to tame a taboo subject
In many families, the use of childish words is almost obvious. They make it possible to soften a subject still loaded with taboos, discomfort or embarrassment. For some parents, these nicknames are a way of protecting the child’s innocence, without using terms that evoke sexuality to them.
Using playful or affectionate terms can also be a simplification strategy. Young children more easily adopt pictorial or amusing vocabulary, which echoes their world.
These expressions thus participate in a form of intimate, family language, sometimes transmitted from generation to generation. They demonstrate a desire to do well. But they can also reflect a certain difficulty in tackling the question of the body and sexuality head-on. And the little word, hide greater evils.
Name accurately to inform… and protect
Faced with this tradition of “pictorial” and funny words, many childhood and health professionals today plead for the early use of exact anatomical terms. Vulva, lips, penis, testicles: so many words that allow you to be precise, especially in a medical context. And which allow the child to know himself, without shame.
But beyond simple scientific accuracy, the issue would also be educational and preventive. Teaching a child to clearly name their body parts would help strengthen their understanding of boundaries and intimacy. Lolita Rivé, a teacher who documented her sexuality education classes in the podcast “What is love, mistress?” score a point.
“Children must know the difference between anus, buttocks, vagina to be able to say where they hurt but also to describe sexual assault”.
Same echo last October in a post by general practitioner and writer Baptiste Beaulieu, faced with a little girl who was attacked.
“I have the impression that the child who does not have the language to describe his body is more “malleable””, he is alarmed.
In the context of the fight against abuse or incest, this linguistic precision can prove crucial. Knowing how to name means being able to tell, explain, alert.
A nuanced debate: do words really make a difference?
However, some specialists invite us to put the importance of this semantic debate into perspective. The psychologist Amélie Boukhobza, for example, understands the interest of anatomical terms when the child grows up, but believes that their use is not decisive in itself.
“A child who talks about an inappropriate gesture or an attack, even with childish words, can be understood. A little girl who talks about having had to touch her uncle’s penis, that still remains very clear”, she emphasizes. According to her, the real issue lies more in the ability of adults to listen, believe and support the child.
In other words, exact vocabulary is not an absolute guarantee of protection, any more than the use of nicknames necessarily prevents speech from being freed. “The family context, the quality of the attention given to children and the trust established play an equally essential role.
Beyond words, the importance of open communication
Ultimately, the heart of the question goes beyond the simple choice between “zizi” and “penis”. What seems fundamental is how parents talk about bodies, intimacy and boundaries with their children. Naming things, whatever the terms, in a calm and shameless climate helps build a relationship of trust.
Encouraging questions, explaining the differences between public and private, learning to say no and ask for help: all keys to strengthening children’s sense of security.
Words matter, of course. But they take on their full meaning in regular communication, adapted to the age and respectful of the child’s emotions. Because ultimately, protection means above all creating a space where speech circulates freely, and where every subject, even delicate, can be discussed without taboo. Speak, and name, whatever the name given.