The first few months of a relationship are always the best. We get to know each other, we go out and we are very complicit. However, this unfortunately does not last and some people end up no longer tolerating each other’s little faults.
And very often, this happens especially when we met in the wrong place. Between dating sites, circles of friends or the workplace, the genesis of the story weighs on the future of the home.
Dating sites: a higher risk of breakup?
Finding true love is not always easy and it usually requires a lot of patience. While some people like to leave things to chance, others prefer to use dating sites to find their other half. Tinder, Meetic, Happn… there are many sites to find that rare gem.
And according to a recent study by British Marriage Foundationpeople who meet via the sites would be more likely to divorce than others. Although they don’t know each other, users of dating sites get together very quickly and can experience unpleasant surprises.
The survey is clear: couples formed on the internet are six times more likely to divorce after three years of marriage. After 10 years, the separation rate rises to 20%.
“Social capital”, the pillar of romantic longevity
Why such fragility for “virtual” couples? For Harry Benson, research director, the explanation lies in those around him: ““This suggests that in the early years of marriage, couples who meet in this way may lack sufficient social capital around them to cope with any challenges they face.”
Conversely, meeting through family or friends provides a more stable foundation with a divorce rate of 14%. The strongest couples remain those formed during studies (12% divorce after 10 years). These partners generally have had time to get to know each other and evolve before getting married and deciding to live together.
Work and private life: a complex equation after 10 years
What about couples formed through work? The workplace is a key space for meetings, but it presents a unique dynamic. If after three years of marriage, the divorce rate is low (8%), it explodes to reach 23% after 10 years of living together. It is difficult to explain this significant increase in divorces among these people, even if professional and personal promiscuity could, in the long term, become an obstacle.
Amélie Boukhobza, clinical psychologist, emphasizes that our favorite places evolve with our maturity. “Finding love often depends on the context, and meeting places will change with age” she confirms.
The evolution of meetings according to the stages of life
The quest for others does not meet the same needs at 20 as at 50. “In your twenties, evenings with friends, studies, or even dating apps are fertile grounds. It’s a period when we experiment easily, where relationships are often more spontaneous, guided by a taste for adventure.”explains Amélie Boukhobza.
Later, “As you approach your thirties, priorities change. Meetings can take place in perhaps quieter places, around shared activities such as sport, hobbies, or during professional events. The workplace is a key space for meetings!”.
Then after 40 years, the selection becomes more rigorous. “In midlife and beyond, places become even more focused on individual interests. Established circles of friends, trips or cultural activities. At this age, the search is more targeted, we know better what we want – at least what we no longer want.”
In short, although it is tempting to rely on statistics, the success of a couple depends above all on the investment of each person. Amélie Boukhobza says she regularly invites her patients between 45 and 55 years old to go to wine evenings or to join the sports club.
“You have to find places that men frequent. Obviously, dating sites remain a common option, at all ages including seniors, even if good encounters are not always there!”.
The main thing is to keep an open mind because, as the expert reminds us: “UDon’t meet, it’s a meeting! So we remain open, without preconceptions, because we never know where an encounter will take us, whatever our age!”