While you already didn’t really want to go to this wedding, bad luck: you find yourself stuck between the groom’s mother-in-law and your unbearable ex. If they marry for the best, it seems… that you are experiencing the worst. So how can you try to have the best evening possible? Amélie Boukhobza, clinical psychologist, enlightens us.
The table plan: a determining element… but not decisive
At the moment, it’s hard not to grimace when you discover your seat… and we understand: the seating plan can clearly influence your start to the evening, or even cause (serious) discomfort. However, it alone does not define the overall atmosphere.
“Yes, the seating plan can be annoying. But a wedding remains above all a celebration. We celebrate a union and we are here for that,” recalls Amélie Boukhobza, who invites everyone to put things into perspective.
Especially since, in reality, a marriage is rarely a fixed experience. “We come, we come. The bride and groom move around. The guests too,” specifies the expert.
This movement therefore allows us to put the assigned place into perspective. “The table plan mainly organizes the dinner time. Not the whole evening. The rest of the time, we dance, we get up…”, underlines the practitioner. A constraint therefore… very temporary.
Taking a step back: instructions for use
Once this observation is made, you still have to manage the discomfort in the moment. Because when faced with your intrusive neighbor, the desire to flee is great. This is precisely where mental work comes into play.
“During these moments, you have to take a little on yourself. You take a step aside. And you remember that you are there to celebrate the bride and groom, not yourself!” explains Amélie Boukhobza.
The idea is not to deny your annoyance, but to not let it take up all the space. Instead, accept that the evening does not correspond to your expectations, in order to relieve the pressure.
“The evening may not be what we planned. But we can allow ourselves to open up a little. See what happens,” advises the psychologist.
Because behind every uncomfortable situation there can be a surprise (an interesting discussion, an unlikely meeting, or simply a lighter moment than expected…).
“Sometimes, the most unexpected conversations arise from these slightly absurd placements. Sometimes not at all. And that’s not a big deal either!” concludes the expert.
Ultimately, a failed seating plan is not inevitable: the evening does not depend on a chair or an imposed neighbor. It is built in the small moments that we choose to capture, in the exchanges that we provoke… or that we let happen. Who knows, maybe you will fall in love with that ex again?