“My rabbit”, “boy on the train”, or simply “husband” or “wife”… In the directory of our telephone, we all have a very personal way of describing the chosen one of our heart. Some opt for a detail of the meeting (a place, an anecdote) others for a private joke or a slightly cutesy nickname. The trick is to find your way around and find the name that will please you when a call rings out. But the choice you made is not as trivial as that. Depending on the title, it can say a lot about your relationship.
The funny nickname, or the private joke
Thus, the choice of a nickname or a private joke is often indicative of the emotional closeness of a couple. Like Karim, 26 years old, quoted by The Independentwho calls his partner “Ron”, since the meeting, because of his red hair reminding him of a Harry Potter character. In this case, these seemingly innocuous nicknames participate in an intimate mythology, sometimes stronger than grand romantic gestures. This will often be of great importance in the lasting relationship.
The cute nickname
“Baby”, “my love”, “my life” invade many repertoires thus qualifying the lover, in view of all the other names. A somewhat cutesy detail, it’s true, but which testifies to a very present attachment. “When we choose a tender, almost intimate nickname, it is often that we seek to maintain the flame of the beginning” underlines Amélie Boukhobza, clinical psychologist, for True Medical. “This reflects the desire to keep this emotional bond alive, visible, as a discreet evidence in everyday life.
The sober choice
Conversely, some remain sober, registering their partner under their full name (Laurence, Julien, etc.) or even adding “husband” or “wife”, for the sake of clarity or discretion. This is because today, with modern smartphones, names can be displayed publicly on calls or shared screens, the public dimension of our choices becomes an element to consider. But for Amélie Boukhobza, this is not the only reason. “A more pragmatic name – first name alone, initials, or a functional detail – can reflect another posture: a form of distance, a need to have the other in their place, or simply a simpler, more obvious relationship, less nourished by idealization.”
The absence of a name
On the other hand, with the generalization of online dating, another trend has emerged: that of only mentioning “Tinder 3” for example, rather than a first name to name the person met. This behavior reveals a defense mechanism. “Many do not even record the first name, out of superstition or fear of becoming attached prematurely. indicates the media The Independent. “Not to name means not to hope too much, not to have to erase it if things go wrong.” Fortunately, if things go well, it is possible that Tinder 3 will be replaced by a more affectionate nickname.
A choice that can last for years
Sometimes, however, you will forever remain “the girl with green eyes” or “the funny waiter” in your lover’s repertoire. Even after years of relationship. And that’s not a bad thing.
“Often, this first choice remains frozen over the years. Because ultimately, changing this little piece of digital memory would mean touching something deeper: the trace of the very beginning, of the moment when we wanted to give a special place to this meeting” evokes our psychologist. Changing your name in the directory is almost a superstition: the idea that modifying this detail could damage, or transform, the nature of the relationship itself.
“We evolve, the relationship changes, but this little name remains. A silent witness to the history we wanted to write…” confirms the expert.