Mother of four children, Nicole Kidman today raises her two youngest daughters, Sunday Rose and Faith Margaret, with particular attention paid to their relationship. During a public speech, she confided having established a ritual as short as it was essential with her two teenage daughters, from which we could well draw inspiration.
A simple ritual… but far from trivial
“My daughters will kill me for saying this, but I tell them, ‘You have to hug me for two minutes a day.’
A daily moment, almost banal in appearance, but which is part of a desire to maintain emotional closeness despite the upheavals of adolescence.
The actress also insists on the importance of this gesture:
“This releases certain chemicals into the body and everyone needs to be cuddled for about two minutes a day.”
Beyond this ritual, she also places a central place on listening, taking the time to sit down with her daughters, often at the end of the day, to discuss, or simply to be present. A posture of a mother, in short, who wishes to maintain a link with her growing children.
Why hugs really feel good
And Nicole Kidman is not wrong. The hug is not anecdotal. A large scientific analysis carried out by the Netherlands Institute of Neuroscience, covering more than 200 studies and nearly 13,000 participants, highlighted the very concrete effects of physical contact on our well-being.
The results are clear: after a contact such as a hug, individuals feel less stress, less anxiety and show a drop in cortisol, the stress hormone. The body then goes into calming mode.
Behind these effects, several biological mechanisms come into play. Touch stimulates the release of endorphins and dopamine, associated with pleasure, but also of oxytocin, often called the “attachment hormone”. The heart rate slows, blood pressure decreases, and the brain receives a safety signal.
In summary, a hug acts as a real regulating break, particularly valuable at an age when emotions are intense and sometimes difficult to manage.
Staying present without intruding: the challenge for parents of teenagers
But the bond with a teenager is not limited to physical contact. For educational psychologist Jessica Hollender, it’s all about balance.
“Being a parent of a teenager is like playing a tightrope. You have to be present, without being too present.
she said in True Medical.
Even when the adolescent seems distant, the role of the parent remains fundamental. He needs a space to express himself, to share what he is going through, without feeling judged or constrained.
Emotions take on a huge role at this age. Whether positive or difficult, they must be able to be expressed. “He needs to give himself up, to unload, and it is our role to offer him this space.” underlines the psychologist. With a hug, why not if the teenager accepts it, but that is not the only possibility.
How to encourage daily dialogue
Creating this link does not necessarily involve formal discussions. On the contrary, the most sincere exchanges are often born in simple moments.
Talking about yourself, for example, can open the door. Expressing their own fatigue or a bad day allows the adolescent to understand that he too can share what he feels. In the same way, saying how you feel about your behavior — without accusation — can help create a more peaceful dialogue.
The main thing is to show your availability, without forcing. Be there, ready to listen, without interrupting or judging. Sometimes, confidences come more easily while walking, in the car or during a shared activity, far from direct face-to-face.
And when dialogue is more difficult, it is important to accept that the adolescent can confide in another trusted person: a loved one, a teacher or a professional.
A bond that is built every day
Nicole Kidman’s ritual illustrates a simple idea: it is often the shortest and most regular gestures that maintain the strongest bonds.
A two-minute hug, attentive listening, a discreet presence… These little touches repeated day after day create a reassuring space that adolescents deeply need.
At a time when they are looking to move away while remaining attached, these moments become essential to continuing to feel understood, supported and loved.