Swipe, message, more intimate exchange sometimes… then comes the moment of transition to reality. This first IRL meeting, for “In Real Life”, has established itself as a separate step in contemporary meetings. It is no longer just a matter of continuing a conversation started online, but of checking whether the connection also exists face to face.
First IRL date, safety remains at the heart of meetings
Maryse Frochot, sexologist and JOYclub.fr expert, explains that this first meeting plays a determining role: “Many people choose a neutral, public location for the first meeting. A café, a bar or a restaurant allows you to chat, to feel each other’s energy, to check if the chemistry felt online is there in real life. This creates a reassuring space where everyone can remain free to leave if the feeling is not there.“.
More and more singles are opting for more authentic dates: “Others prefer a simple activity like a walk. Walking side by side sometimes takes a little pressure off and makes it easier to communicate and we sometimes talk more easily while walking.“.
By the most liberated among them, the context matches the intentions: “In libertine contexts, some people also choose a club or a party, because the environment is already aligned with their desires. But even then, taking a moment to chat beforehand is often a good idea. Desire and imagination constructed online do not always correspond exactly to reality“.
The expert identifies five benchmarks to ensure that this first meeting remains positive: choose a reassuring place, take the time to exchange before any intimacy, respect each person’s pace, do not consider digital exchanges as a commitment and check human compatibility before any other expectation.
“A digital agreement is not a blank check“.
Who are the French people who switch from online dating to IRL?
The study carried out in January 2026 among more than 1,500 French members of JOYclub provides an unexpected result.
Nearly 79.5% of respondents say they live in an exclusive relationship. People in open relationships represent 18.1% of the sample, while 2.3% define themselves as polyamorous.
This figure changes the image often associated with sexuality-oriented dating platforms. The dominant profile is not that of a single person looking for experiences without ties, but that of a member already engaged in a relationship.
Eva Joy, Community Manager of JOYclub.fr, summarizes this transition to reality: “On JOYclub, online dating is never an end in itself because it is the beginning of something real. What our members tell us is that going IRL is a pivotal moment: exciting, sometimes intimidating, always eye-opening. The place we choose for this first meeting often says more than all the messages exchanged before“.