Often, you enter a room without knowing what you came to look for. Or you start one task, then another, before realizing that none of what you planned is finished. What if you’re not just “overwhelmed” but have ADHD?
Indeed, if family and professional responsibilities still weigh heavily on women’s lives, some describe difficulties which seem to go beyond overwork. “We still think that these difficulties are simply linked to a lack of organization, good will or stress. It can be. But not only that!“, confirms Amélie Boukhobza, clinical psychologist.
On this ADHD Day, a question deserves to be asked. How to distinguish simple overwork from ADHD? Here are our expert’s answers.
An attention deficit disorder too often confused with a simple “defect”
Children’s medical appointments, shopping, meals to anticipate, laundry to throw, administrative procedures or even text messages that must be answered after 11:00 p.m…. For many women, the days seem like a race against time. “And it must be said, even if things are gradually changing, the distribution of tasks still often remains unequal.“, regrets our expert.
However, some women have the feeling of being constantly overwhelmed, even when their objective workload is not necessarily greater than that of others.
“They forget appointments, lose their things, start several tasks without finishing them, put off until tomorrow what seems important to them and have the feeling of chasing time from morning to evening,” deciphers Amélie Boukhobza.
The problem ? These difficulties are often misinterpreted. Many end up considering these difficulties as a simple “flaw” rather than a symptom.
By hearing that they should simply “do better”, some women even develop strong guilt and weakened self-esteem… Instead of going to an office.
ADHD that evolves in the shadows
Often, when we think of ADHD, the image that springs to mind is often that of a child who can’t sit still. Except that among women, the manifestations can be much more discreet.
The turmoil often plays out inside. The thoughts follow one another without respite. Ideas flow. Mental lists pile up. And the brain seems unable to press the pause button.
“There are sometimes difficulties concentrating, unusual forgetfulness, a feeling of mental fog, even those moments when you search for your words even though you know them perfectly.
underlines Amélie Boukhobza.
This is also what explains why so many women go under the radar for too long: they implement extremely effective strategies to hide their fragilities.
“They write everything down, check several times, work harder than others so as not to forget anything. Some even become experts in the art of masking their difficulties. But this permanent adaptation has a cost. Chronic fatigue, anxiety, reduced self-esteem, feeling of failure, emotional exhaustion…”, warns the specialist.
Difficulties sometimes linked to simple hormonal fluctuations
From their forties onwards, some women complain of more frequent forgetfulness, difficulty finding words or even a feeling of mental fog. And finally, no ADHD in there: hormonal fluctuations can simply reveal or amplify weaknesses that are already present.
Indeed, we still greatly underestimate the impact of hormonal changes on attention, memory and executive functions, specifies the psychologist. Hence the importance of not minimizing the premenopausal period or the
menopause.
How do you know if ADHD is worth exploring?
The idea here is not to turn every oversight or delay into a diagnosis. But simply to take these difficulties seriously when they become a little too restrictive – and when they impact daily life.
Thus, for specialists, it is the age of the difficulties that makes all the difference. Because ADHD does not appear suddenly in adulthood. Often, even when it has never been diagnosed, it has been present for a long time.
“If the feeling of disorganization has been present since childhood, forgetfulness has always been frequent, procrastination is long-standing and this feeling of constantly living in overload has never really left you, then the possibility of ADHD is indeed worth exploring with a professional,” concludes the practitioner.
Many women thus realize, sometimes belatedly, that what they have always perceived as “defects” are in reality related to a particular neurological functioning. A realization that is often accompanied by deep relief.