Do you sometimes have trouble speaking up in meetings, expressing disagreement or simply making your opinion heard? Rest assured, this difficulty is much more widespread than you think. As Amélie Boukhobza, clinical psychologist, explains, “Even when you know perfectly well what you want to say, when speaking, the words can get stuck. There are many fears: fear of being interrupted, of being judged, of not being good enough or simply fear of losing one’s means.” However, there are simple formulations that allow you to express yourself with more confidence, gain credibility and naturally find your place in a conversation. Here are the 7 phrases that the specialist recommends adopting to strengthen the impact of your words on a daily basis.
“I would like to add something”
A very simple sentence, but extremely effective!
“It actually allows us to speak again without cutting someone off. It announces that our intervention also deserves to be heard. Because if we wait for the perfect moment to speak… it never arrives. This sentence creates precisely this space”,
explains Amélie Boukhobza.
“I don’t completely agree, and here’s why…”
In everyday life, disagreement is often scary. We contradict, oppose and assert ourselves.
“As a result, many prefer to remain silent rather than risk conflict… While expressing disagreement does not mean attacking the other. By explaining one’s reasoning, one affirms one’s thoughts without entering into a logic of confrontation”, underlines the expert.
“If I summarize, you say that…”
This very frequent phrase could be replaced by “If I take what you say…“or again”if I understand correctly…“But all have the same persuasive power.
“These formulations are widely used by us psychologists, negotiators or mediators”, assures the practitioner. “They show that we really listen before responding. And paradoxically, they strengthen credibility. People who know how to rephrase give the impression of being in better control of a conversation.” she continues.
“I need a few seconds to think”
On a daily basis, we always think that we must respond immediately to appear confident. Error !
“Taking a few seconds is a sign of reflection rather than hesitation. This avoids speaking too quickly or responding only to fill the silence,” assures the psychologist.
“I understand your point of view. Mine is a little different”
When we are shy, we fear that defending our opinion means contradicting others.
“However, this sentence allows us to recognize the point of view of our interlocutor while affirming our own. We can disagree without being in opposition.” indicates Amélie Boukhobza.
“If you allow me, I prefer to follow through with my idea”
Some people, regularly interrupted, end up abandoning what they wanted to say.
“However, this sentence precisely sets a limit, calmly. And reminds us that our words have as much value as those of others”, recognizes the specialist.
“I don’t know”
This is probably the most underrated phrase…
“And yet it is my favorite. It has immense power. Absolutely wanting to have an answer to everything weakens more than it reassures. Saying you don’t know, especially if it’s true, generally inspires more confidence than an approximate answer or one given just for the sake of answering. Insurance is not about controlling everything. It’s also about accepting your limits.” concludes Amélie Boukhobza.