While the holidays have just started, you are already frustrated. Was going away with your in-laws for ten days really the idea of the century? Between everyone’s different pace and promiscuity, what was supposed to be a moment of relaxation turns out to be more complicated than expected. Fortunately, Amélie Boukhobza, clinical psychologist, gives us some tips to avoid implosion.
Adjust your expectations
We expect vacations to be a time of rest, relaxation, joy and shared pleasures.
“But living together for several days with your in-laws can quickly become… a sport. Small remarks, different habits, opposing rhythms: everyday life doesn’t necessarily unfold as you imagined. Even when “everyone gets along well”, it remains a human group, with its expectations, its susceptibilities, its underlying tensions. Wanting the stay to be perfect is often laying the foundations… for great frustration. So, how do you defuse it? First of all, say things to yourself. frankly is not always a good idea, it’s better to adjust your expectations and stop trying to please everyone and step away from the role of mediator. advises Amélie Boukhobza.
Keep your own space
After spending the whole day talking to your partner’s great aunt, you are exhausted. The problem ? Your in-laws are once again offering you an energy-intensive activity: playing yet another game of pétanque in 40 degree weather. A proposal you can refuse.
“Remember to keep your own space. Ten minutes of calm, a solo walk, a jog, a coffee alone with a book… These moments are important not to escape, but to breathe”,
underlines the psychologist.
Avoid romantic score settling
It goes without saying that your in-laws’ living room is not the ideal place to resolve your romantic differences.
“This is not the time to settle everything. In “outdoor” terrain, it is better to defer blame. Avoid settling scores in camping mode – and any public scandal. What can wait… wait”, recalls the expert.
Learn to say no
Another valuable piece of advice given by our psychologist: refocus on your needs, by asking yourself the following question: “What do I need during this vacation?“.
“Because it’s also your vacation. Need to rest? You have the right to take a breath: no need to take part in every family activity. Need some lightness? Nothing obliges you to engage in major in-depth debates around a glass of rosé”, indicates the specialist.
Choose your level of involvement
You don’t choose your in-laws. But we can choose how to be there, and to what extent to be involved in it. “Setting your limits is not only legitimate, but it is (also) often what saves relationships… and the atmosphere!” concludes Amélie Boukhobza.