Pronounced almost mechanically, certain everyday expressions sometimes say much more than they seem. For psychologists, certain small, innocuous phrases can reflect deep discomfort, especially when they come up repeatedly. They often reflect negative thought patterns that maintain psychological suffering.
In cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), these automatic formulations are particularly observed. They are considered to reflect cognitive distortions, that is, ways of thinking that distort reality and fuel anxiety or depression. Psychologists then emphasize that becoming aware of these thoughts is already a first step towards better well-being.
Why our words can influence our morale
Psychologists have long known that the way we interpret events directly influences our emotional state. When a person consistently uses words like “always”, “Never” Or “Nothing”she tends to see situations in a very global way, without taking into account the nuances.
These automatic thoughts are well known in cognitive behavioral therapy. They can reinforce a feeling of helplessness, encourage ruminations and maintain depressive symptoms when they become lasting. Conversely, learning to identify them and then reformulate them in a more realistic way is one of the tools used by psychologists to improve well-being.
These 5 sentences can reveal discomfort
“I’m doing well.” Behind this automatic response is sometimes a desire not to worry those around you or to avoid discussing their difficulties. By minimizing how we feel, it becomes more difficult to ask for help.
“What’s the point?” This phrase often reflects a loss of motivation or meaning. It may reflect the impression that efforts will be of no use, a mechanism close to what psychologists call learned helplessness.
“Nothing ever works for me.” This way of thinking generalizes one or more failures to all of life. By convincing themselves that everything is doomed to failure, the person gradually risks giving up on taking action.
“No one understands me.” The feeling of being alone in the face of one’s emotions is common in times of psychological suffering. However, this impression does not always correspond to reality and can encourage withdrawal.
“I am not made to be happy.”
This sentence is undoubtedly the most worrying. It no longer calls into question just a situation, but the very identity of the person, as if happiness were inaccessible to them.
Can we change these thoughts?
Experts recommend first learning to spot these phrases when they recur regularly. Writing them down in a notebook, then trying to rephrase them with more nuance can help you gain perspective.
For example, replace “Nothing ever works for me”
by “Today things are difficult, but that doesn’t mean they always will be” allows us to gradually move away from an overly pessimistic vision.
When to consult?
If these negative thoughts persist for several weeks, are accompanied by significant fatigue, sleep problems, loss of interest in usual activities or dark thoughts, it is important to speak to a health professional. A doctor or psychologist will be able to assess the situation and offer appropriate support.