At 50, you might think that you finally know yourself inside out. His tastes, his habits, his desires, his limits… Some sentences even seem definitive: “I am someone who…”, “I will never be…”, “I hate…”.
However, a few years, an event or simply the evolution of the world can be enough to shake these certainties. This is what German journalist Susanne Arndt said in a testimony published on Brigitte.de. Looking back, she looks back on five beliefs that she thought were firmly anchored in her and that she ultimately left behind.
An exercise which shows that aging is not only about changing physically, but also about getting rid of certain labels that we have given ourselves.
“Traveling is the best thing”
At 20, Susanne Arndt loved to travel and says she traveled several continents. Travel represented freedom, discovery and adventure for her.
But his outlook has changed. She particularly mentions overtourism, these destinations saturated by visitors, and the
Flugschamthe “shame of taking a plane”, in the context of the climate crisis.
Above all, she notes that travel no longer always provides the same change of scenery. Certain destinations seem to him to have become standardized tourist products.
She then discovers that she can feel this feeling of newness without going to the other side of the world. A nearby town, an unfamiliar neighborhood, or a place she’s never been may be enough.
She therefore does not abandon the pleasure of discovery, but the idea that one must necessarily travel far to experience something new.
“Children are exhausting”
Her relationship with motherhood has also evolved. Susanne Arndt says she wasn’t sure she wanted to have children. And when her child arrived, the first years seemed particularly difficult.
Over time, however, his outlook has transformed. Today, she considers her child and this experience as a real enrichment and even projects herself into the role of grandmother.
She does not deny the difficulties of the beginning. She simply accepts that two feelings can coexist: finding parenthood exhausting and despite everything considering that it has profoundly enriched her life.
“Summer is definitely the best season”
Another abandoned certainty: his unconditional love of summer.
Sun, heat, long days: the season seemed naturally associated with happiness. But over time, she also sees its limits. The expectations are enormous: we should enjoy the sun, go on vacation and make every day memorable.
What if we just stopped asking a season to make us happy?
The journalist thus learns to appreciate the other periods of the year, from spring rhubarb to winter hot chocolate.
At 50, happiness can also consist of no longer waiting for “the best period” to enjoy your life.
“I am apolitical”
This is probably the most dramatic change in his story. For a long time, Susanne Arndt described herself as having little interest in politics. However, she remembers having participated in demonstrations against the German far-right party in the 1980s Die Republikaner.
Over the years, the context changes: climate change, the rise of the far right, wars, authoritarian regimes… Faced with these upheavals, she gradually considers that political indifference is no longer compatible with what she feels.
She even says she got involved to the point of joining a party.
A development which reminds us that our convictions are not necessarily fixed. They can change when our environment, our priorities or our perception of the world evolve.
“Gray hair? Never!”
It is perhaps the most intimate transformation.
Susanne Arndt was convinced that she would dye her hair as soon as the first white strands appeared. For her, gray hair was associated with old age and therefore something to be avoided.
Then she changes her mind.
She finally chooses to let her natural hair evolve and no longer feels the need to fight against every sign of time. More than a question of color, this choice reflects a change in her outlook on herself. Aging is no longer necessarily something that should be hidden.
The journalist even goes so far as to consider growing old as a privilege.
At 50, we can also allow ourselves to change
Behind these five stories is ultimately the same idea: we spend a large part of our lives telling ourselves who we are.
These phrases can give coherence to our identity, but also end up locking us away.
Susanne Arndt’s testimony shows that at 50, it is possible to look at your old certainties and see that they simply no longer correspond to the person you have become.
Changing your mind does not necessarily mean denying yourself. Sometimes it’s simply recognizing that we’ve changed.
And that’s perhaps one of the benefits of age: knowing yourself well enough to know who you are, while accepting that you won’t be exactly the same person tomorrow.