Since the start of this school year, you haven’t stopped. You work, you manage your children, you respond to messages, you see your loved ones. In short, you fuel… On the surface, you therefore give the impression of managing everything. But inside, you’re operating in survival mode.
“This mode describes a state in which the organism mobilizes a large part of its resources to hold on, anticipate and protect itself. The person continues to move forward, but he or she has almost no psychological space for anything else: feeling, thinking or desiring.” explains Amélie Boukhobza, psychologist.
However, several signals reveal well-established psychological exhaustion. Here are the ones to spot.
You never really rest
You lie down, you finally have a moment to yourself, but your brain doesn’t stop. For the psychologist, this difficulty in releasing pressure constitutes a first signal.
“Whatever we do, the body does not relax. We remain internally alert. We think about what to do next, what we have forgotten or what could happen. The problem is that we can no longer feel safe enough to rest.” confides Amélie Boukhobza.
The slightest unforeseen event puts you beside yourself
When psychic resources are already heavily strained, the slightest event can take on unexpected proportions.
“A delay, a change of program or an unexpected message provokes a disproportionate reaction: anger, anguish, tears, astonishment… With psychological resources already almost entirely mobilized, the smallest unforeseen event becomes the last straw,” recognizes the psychologist.
You operate on autopilot
Another possible sign: continuing to manage everything but with the feeling of being absent from your own life.
“We do everything that needs to be done, sometimes even very efficiently. However, we feel like we are going through our days without really being there. We accomplish the tasks, but we experience little pleasure, little curiosity, or almost nothing. Autopilot allows us to continue. It also prevents us from feeling how tired or overwhelmed we might be.”
she explains.
You constantly overanticipate the worst
On a daily basis, you check, you prepare, you control. You imagine every possible scenario, especially those that could go wrong. A way of keeping control, but which can also reflect permanent hypervigilance.
“This anticipation can give an impression of control. But above all it reveals hypervigilance: the brain is constantly looking for the next danger so as not to be caught off guard,” alerts the expert.
You don’t really know what you want anymore
By responding to emergencies and expectations, another difficulty may appear: no longer being able to identify one’s own desires.
“When someone asks what we want, we respond based on what is reasonable, urgent or expected. Desire takes second place, because surviving psychologically consists first of managing necessities.” observes the psychologist.
The body begins to speak
Survival mode does not only manifest itself on the psychological level. The body can also send key signals, although these need to be medically evaluated first.
“Sleep disorders, muscular tension, headaches, digestive difficulties, palpitations, persistent fatigue… These symptoms must obviously be evaluated medically. But if no organic cause is sufficient to explain them, we must also look at the psychological burden”, warns the specialist.
You always say “it’s okay”
This is probably one of the most misleading signs: downplaying what you’re going through and continuing to pretend, precisely because, on paper, nothing seems to be that bad.
“We put things into perspective because others are going through worse. We assure ourselves that this is just a busy period. We postpone the moment to ask for help because, objectively, everything seems to be fine. This is also what makes this state so difficult to spot.”
concludes Amélie Boukhobza.
Survival mode can therefore be established without your daily life seeming truly disrupted. It remains to be seen whether “holding on” again and again does not end up distancing you from your own needs…