After a few years, you sometimes look at your partner differently. His desires have changed… And yours too. But this development should not frighten. It is even a rather good sign, according to a psychologist.
“Our relationship has evolved a lot over time“
In an interview given to Gala this Tuesday, September 15, Mélanie Page returned to the iconic couple she has formed with host Nagui for 26 years.
“Ours has evolved a lot over time. Perhaps we have to accept that the couple does not remain static,” she confides to the magazine.
For the actress, each partner evolves over the years. And with it, the needs of the couple.
“We grow up, we age, our expectations, and consequently, our desires, our limits change. If we refuse to allow these balances to evolve, it undoubtedly becomes more difficult to make a relationship last.” continues the actress.
Work, retraining or travel can transform your partner. And it is not always easy to experience these developments as a couple, although they are often necessary.
When you feel like your partner has changed
If all these changes (in life, in personality, in way of being) can fortunately be welcomed by your loved one, it also happens that we are no longer able to recognize our other half (their reactions surprise us, their priorities are no longer the same…). Enough to sometimes be disturbed, even destabilized.
“A love of two weeks is not that of six months, nor of five or twenty years. It evolves and that is normal”assures Amélie Boukhobza. “We inevitably think “that he has changed”. But often, it is simply the relationship that has matured. And with it, the illusions that have fallen”she continues.
Indeed, if at the start of a relationship, everyone arrives with their own projections, the reality of everyday life quickly takes over. We discover more about the other… and we begin to see them as they really are.
“With its moods, its flaws, its little quirks…”,
specifies the expert.
The couple must also learn to evolve
The secret of a relationship that lasts could therefore well be the fact of reviewing your way of being together rather than trying to rediscover that of the beginnings.
It’s necessary “hasadjust your expectations, talk to each other differently, relearn how to be curious about others, invent what comes next…”advises Amélie Boukhobza. Because “love is not fixed. It is alive, moving”, she recalls.
But we still need to find this space to reinvent ourselves together.
“It all depends on the periods and the workload. At the moment, with this start of the school year, we don’t see each other very much!” confides Mélanie Page on this subject, which thus serves as a reminder that every couple alternates between moments for two and periods for themselves.
The other key advice from the actress and mother? When she is with Naguy, they also make sure to save room for something other than work.
“We manage to make time to get together. And, when we are together, we end up talking very little about work. My husband likes to compartmentalize. Of course, we talk when one of us is experiencing something exceptional or needs advice, but we also like to talk about other things.”
she concludes.
So many inspired and inspiring “lessons” for your couple!