Forget the classic “did your day go well?” : 7 questions to really get your child talking

Forget the classic “did your day go well?” : 7 questions to really get your child talking
You ask him how his day was and your child responds with a simple “good” before heading off to his room? This evening ritual sometimes turns into a dialogue of the deaf. American psychotherapist Amy Morin provides simple keys to changing the situation and creating a real moment of sharing.

Coming home from class requires time to decompress. When you ask him point blank how his day went, the request turns out to be too vague. Your child comes out of several hours of learning, he is hungry, he is tired and finds himself unable to sort through his memories.

Why does the classic question close the dialogue?

For American psychotherapist Amy Morin, the author of the book 13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don’t Do, this reflex does not help young people express their emotions. Questioned by the American media CNBC Make Itthe expert suggests replacing this formula with targeted questions that open specific doors in one’s memory.

The 7 questions to test this evening

In her video for the TEDx conference media entitled The secret to becoming mentally strong, Amy Morin recalls the benefit of stimulating children’s thinking. “When children reflect on their experiences, they develop their emotional awareness, learn to solve problems and strengthen their empathy.” she explains.

Here are the formulations to adopt to encourage this exchange:

  • “What was the best part of your day?” to cultivate optimism and gratitude;
  • “What mistake allowed you to learn something today?” to play down failure;
  • “Who were you proud of today?” to direct one’s attention towards others;
  • “What could have made your day better?” to get him to find solutions;
  • “Who did you help today?” to encourage kindness;
  • “What’s the most interesting thing you’ve learned?” to stimulate their curiosity without talking about grades;
  • “What would you like to try again?” to push him out of his comfort zone and strengthen his resilience.

How to establish this ritual without appearing like an inspector?

Timing matters just as much as your words. To avoid the interrogation effect, the Psychologies magazine site and the Aufeminin site advise waiting for a calming moment. Snack time, a walk in the park or a drawing session are particularly suitable.

You can also apply advice shared by many educators. And get the ball rolling by answering the question yourself. By talking about your own day first, you naturally encourage your child to confide, without ever forcing their hand.