It is often difficult to admit that one could be the victim of abuse during his childhood. Under this weight of the inexpressible, there is confusion, shame, doubt, or even the fear of questioning family ties or memories that we thought was happy. So, without always realizing it, we put these experiences at a distance. We minimize them, we put them into perspective. A protection reflex, often unconscious, which allows you not to look too much where it hurts.
From doubt to awareness
Being aware of having a traumatic past is one thing, but admitting it is another. This leads to guilt, remorse, sorrow, and a whole range of other negative emotions. Some people experience the need to talk about it, while others prefer to repress their doubts. In an article published on Psychology TodayPsychotherapist Kaytee Gillis recommends self-evaluating himself using 12 claims, to which we can respond by “never”, “sometimes”, “often” or “frequently”. They make it possible to assess whether the fears linked to a possible traumatic past are founded. “”Although it is not exhaustive, this list aims to offer a frame of reflection, knowing that infant trauma can express themselves in a very varied way. These questions can constitute a first step towards the recognition of these experiences and the work of healing “she says.
12 affirmations to explore his personal story
- When I think of my childhood, I feel sadness or a feeling of loss;
- I find it difficult to get along with one or more of my parental figures in adulthood;
- I’m afraid people abandon me;
- I have difficulties in my relationships (friendly or in love), and I have the impression of not being able to have a healthy relationship;
- I worry not to be worthy of love;
- When I think back to my childhood, there are long periods that I do not remember;
- It is difficult for me to spend time with my parents or my family. I need a limited or controlled environment;
- I feel “different” or disconnected from others, I have the impression that nobody really understands me;
- I have history of unhealthy relationships with food, alcohol or other substances;
- I find it hard to trust others because I think they will end up hurting me;
- I am often told that my reactions are excessive in relation to the situation;
- I was mistreated physically, sexually, verbally or emotionally by someone who was supposed to take care of me.
“Use these questions as a starting point to explore your inner experience. If one of them has aroused discomfort or awakened a reaction in you, this can reveal a particularly sensitive area”, Kaytee Gillis analysis. She also recalls that there is no “correct” way to feel in front of the traumatic events that we have been able to live, each experience being very personal. Finally, if you have answered “often” or “frequently” to several of these questions, this can be a sign that you have experienced trauma during your childhood. Psychological support can then prove to be saving.