New Year’s Eve menu, room allocation, children’s education… at Christmas, there is no shortage of topics for dispute. To avoid picking on your loved ones and maintaining the magic of the holidays, Amélie Boukhobza, clinical psychologist, shares some practical advice.
Christmas: an evening that concentrates tensions
Although the end-of-year celebrations can fortunately go well, they can sometimes be synonymous with tensions, misunderstandings or heavy silences.
“Like every end of the year, or perhaps like every family meal, avoiding tension is a big challenge.”confirms Amélie Boukhobza, clinical psychologist. Indeed, Christmas always arouses great expectations. “Combined with a little fatigue and sometimes resentments that come back up”the challenge is important. “As if the magic of Christmas were to work to erase everything…”underlines the expert.
So what to do? How to avoid getting in trouble for yourself (and for others)?
First of all, anticipating the evening is a good idea. These moments of reunion being loaded with representations and strong emotions, anticipating them before the big day allows you to prepare as best as possible for possible arguments and remarks.
Then, some practical “tips” allow you to release tension. Here are those adopted and validated by our expert.
Our psychologist’s 5 tips to avoid family arguments
According to Amélie Boukhobza, if there is no miracle recipe for the end of year celebrations to go off without a hitch, certain good reflexes nevertheless make it possible to limit the damage.
- Let go of unrealistic expectations. “The perfect table, the close-knit family, everyone happy… that only exists in the movies. If we accept that New Year’s Eve will not be perfect, we are already releasing a good dose of pressure”reveals the specialist.
- Avoid sensitive topics. “We avoid all the slippery slopes that we know by heart: politics, money, raising children… If we know that things get heated, we move on and save them for another time (or never)”advises the expert.
- Carve out time for yourself. “If everyday life as a family is too difficult, we try to isolate ourselves for even ten minutes to breathe. Going for a walk or looking after the children a little apart can avoid overreacting. Distance, distance, distance!” recommends the psychologist.
- Keep humor in reserve. “A remark that stings? A tense situation? The best weapon: humor! No mockery, just a touch of humor to defuse tensions…”assures Amélie Boukhobza.
- Remember why we are here. “The holidays are an opportunity to share this moment for the family, for the children sometimes… So we stay focused on the essentials – being together, with what everyone can offer – we thus spend a more serene moment then we return to our lives if necessary afterwards”, concludes the practitioner.