In a world where exchanges are multiplying but where confidence is weakening, knowing who one can really confide has become a real issue. Between fear of being judged, risk of betrayal and need of authenticity, many hesitate to share their emotions or their secrets. However, confiding is essential to lighten your daily life, strengthen your social ties and better manage your own weaknesses. But how can we recognize the people we can really count on?
Confide: a difficult but essential exercise
Expressing emotions is not always easy. For many, sharing your feelings requires courage, because it involves being vulnerable – an attitude still too often perceived as a sign of weakness.
“On a daily basis, it is obvious that we do not confide in anyone. It takes a hell of a dose of confidence in the other to dare to deposit even a little self“Underlines psychologist Amélie Boukhobza.
Whether it is happy events (a marriage, the announcement of a birth) or painful (couple tensions, mourning, separation), a question persists: how to be sure that its confidences will not be repeated or distorted?
Confidence is based above all on internal security, which allows you to put into perspective in case of disappointment or betrayal. But it also supposes to be discerning in the choice of its interlocutors. Certain attitudes allow us to identify trustworthy people.
Six signs that reveal a reliable person
Before sharing a secret or emotion, it is possible to observe certain revealing behaviors. A confidence is recognized in particular if:
- She listens without interrupting.
- Your confidences remain private and do not circulate elsewhere.
- It welcomes your emotions without minimizing them, without crushing them and without bringing the discussion back to itself.
- You leave lighter, and not guilty or worried.
- His questions bear witness to real sincerity and aim to understand you better, sometimes to help you move forward.
- She does not seek to give lessons or to exploit your weaknesses.
Under these conditions, it is very likely that you are faced with a trusted person.
Confidence, beyond the tests
For Amélie Boukhobza, the reliability of a loved one is not only measured in difficult times:
“Last detail to keep in mind: the other is not only there when your life is bad, but also in your joys, your successes, your impulses. Above all: you feel safe by his side. Your vulnerability does not turn against you.“”
And add: “Because reality is also that: we can only confide if our interlocutor knows how to welcome without judging, being present without invading too much, and keeping without betraying. Not so easy …”