In a fulfilling relationship, each partner feels emotionally secure, close to the other and free to be fully themselves. However, love life can awaken deep insecurities. In an article published on the website of the
CNBCDr. Cortney Warren, a Harvard-trained psychologist specializing in couples support, explains that
“Emotional security is born first of all from the conviction that we deserve to be loved, and from the confidence that the other is there for us, with kindness, in good times and in bad times.” According to her, couples who truly trust each other use these seven phrases every day.
“You see me as I am”
Feeling safe in a relationship means never having to hide parts of yourself. You’re comfortable being vulnerable when talking about difficult topics because you know your partner will respond with compassion, not judgment.
“I trust you”
Trust is the basis of emotional security. You know that your partner’s words and actions are right, whether you are together or apart. You know who he or she is, and you are convinced that he or she is acting in your best interest.
“We will get through this”
Even the strongest couples experience conflict. What sets them apart is how they manage them. They don’t panic or threaten to leave during disagreements, because they trust that the relationship can weather the storms.
“Go out with your friends!”
In a relationship based on trust, everyone feels comfortable spending time alone. The need for independence is respected because it helps strengthen the relationship.
“I miss you !”
Missing someone is not a sign of excessive attachment, but a reflection of true connection. Even while respecting everyone’s personal space, we always look forward to seeing each other again.
“Can we talk about this?”
In a secure relationship, there is room for difficult conversations. When a situation seems worrying to you, you do not hesitate to talk about it, because you are sure that your partner will listen and be caring.
“Let’s organize something!”
Looking ahead to the future, whether it’s an outing together or a joint project, shows mutual investment in the relationship. You see yourself in your partner’s future, and he or she sees themselves in yours.
Feeling safe and confident in a relationship takes time
“Sharing intimate information with your partner is never easy. It makes us vulnerable — and if that vulnerability isn’t met with empathy, it can be very painful. But the goal is to be in a relationship where you can be fully seen, acknowledged and accepted. This doesn’t happen overnight and requires a conscious effort to accept yourself for who you are and see your partner for who they really are.”concludes the psychologist.