We all know, in our entourage, a person who has a mania for keeping everything, convinced that one day “it could be useful”. But how can we explain this attachment to everyday objects, often of no real use?
According to psychologist Amélie Boukhobza, this link finds its origin in the emotions and memories that these objects evoke in us.
To throw away is not only to make room, it is to give up
Keeping an old sweater that is too small or a broken trinket is not trivial. “To throw away is not simply to make room, it is to give up.says Amélie Boukhobza.
Renouncing a memory, an era, or an imagined future. Each preserved object, even useless, has an emotional, symbolic or identity value. It represents a part of us – a part that is difficult, if not impossible, to throw away.
There are souvenir objects… and those kept “just in case”
Among the objects we accumulate, some are kept “just in case”. “An orphaned screw, an old telephone, the instructions for using the babycook when the children are teenagers“, smiles the psychologist. “It’s not just pragmatism, it’s a deeper fear: that of missing out, of forgetting, of losing a part of yourself.“
Why do these seemingly insignificant objects carry so much weight in our lives?
“OWe get attached to an empty box, to an unsightly trinket given by someone we don’t even see anymore. It’s absurd, but it resists“, explains Amélie Boukhobza.
For what ? Because these objects are not neutral. “They become the invisible receptacles of our connections, our memories, our identity. We project what we were, what we hoped to become, or what we fear never finding again. And sometimes we also hold back for fear of judgment: What if someone noticed? What if someone wanted me?“
Sorting also means making space in your mind
“In these silent objects, a form of intimacy replays. Even when we no longer look at them, they occupy mental space. To sort, in this context, is to take the risk of internal upheaval.“
Because tidying up isn’t just about organizing a closet: it’s also about putting your mind in order. “And everything starts again with new energy“, says the psychologist.
When attachment becomes pathological: syllogomania
For some people, sorting becomes impossible. Accumulation then takes over: it becomes a way of existing. “When throwing away becomes a source of anxiety, when clutter invades daily life or isolates us, we speak of syllogomania“, specifies Amélie Boukhobza.
This disorder, often unrecognized, is not a simple disorder. It can truly poison life, literally and figuratively. In these situations, the intervention of a professional is essential. It is not simply a question of emptying a cellar or an attic, but of defusing a much deeper psychic mechanism. Accumulation is frequently linked to trauma, loss, and a fear of disappearing.
How to help a loved one who accumulates endless amounts?
When faced with a loved one in distress, forced sorting is the worst solution. “Above all, you must not do it for him, nor rush him, even less sort in secret.“, warns Amélie Boukhobza.
Because what is at stake is not the object itself, but what it symbolizes. It takes time, listening, and sometimes therapeutic support to soothe this complex bond.
“Accompanying a loved one also means accepting that certain objects are still ‘untouchable’. Because an object that we keep is not always an object that we love. Sometimes it’s just an object that we can’t yet let go of“, she concludes.