These are sometimes details, apparently harmless, but which say a lot. The frequency of messages, canceled appointments, lack of attention … So many clues that allow you to measure the place you really occupy in the heart-and in life-of your partner.
“”Some signs do not deceive, even if it is not said head -on … and even if it is said that it does not matter, that it will change, that it is a period, you still have to wonder“, alerts psychologist Amélie Boukhobza. Zoom on these behaviors that deserve your full attention.
He (or she) answers everyone except you
Have you sent a message that has remained unanswered for hours, when you see it active online? This indifference is undoubtedly not accidental.
“”When you become the one we consult after everything else, that we are relegated to the background, even that we feel the fifth wheel of the carriage, it is that the relationship is gradually crumbling“, Analysis the psychologist.
Behind this repeated silence, often hides an imbalance, even a form of disinterest. Amélie Boukhobza invites honest introspection: “Does he consider you acquired? Is there still a link, or just habit?“”
He (or her) never does projects with you
Do meetings are organized at the last minute? And it is always you who adapt to its constraints? Again, this is not a simple lack of time.
“The lack of anticipation can be a form of negligence. Or a fear of committing”explains the psychologist. If you never appear in his agenda, it is not a question of schedule. “”When you count, you are integrated into the other calendar. He wants to see us, and does everything for. “
If efforts always come on the same side, maybe it is time to wonder if he really wants to include you in his life.
He doesn’t really listen to you
Sometimes you feel like you are talking in a vacuum? To tirelessly repeat the same things without echo on the other side? This disinterest can be more painful than disagreement.
“It’s not trivial. To feel ignored, it can be worse than a conflict“, Recalls Amélie Boukhobza. Systematically forget what you are telling is not just a lack of attention: it is often the sign of emotional disengagement.”You have the right to demand a real presence, not just physical. “
A gradual withdrawal which, if it sometimes goes unnoticed, leaves deep traces.
He (or she) is never there in difficult times
When things go wrong, you are still present. But when you need support, is it the big void? This imbalance speaks volumes.
“”It is not a race to which gives the most, but a relationship where everyone is supposed to be a pillar for the other“, Recalls the psychologist. A unilateral relationship, where we carry everything on his shoulders, ends up becoming exhausting. If you are alone to manage everything, ask yourself the question: why are you the only one to give everything?
He (or she) says to love you, but never shows him
The sweet words are there, but the acts do not follow? By force, the beautiful words end up losing their value.
“Words are not always enough. Love is above all acts, attention“, insists Amélie Boukhobza. Love is not only said: he proves.
And if you fear asking certain questions, ask you: what does this fear reveal? “”If you are afraid of asking this question, it may be that basically, you already know the answer. “
He (or she) refuses to introduce you to his loved ones
Despite the passing time, have you still not been presented to his friends or family? It is probably not trivial.
“”If you stay away from his world, do you ask: what is it feared? Why does this need to partition?“Questions the psychologist. Being kept away from those around him can translate a desire to maintain a distance, to compartmentalize the spheres of his life.
“”When you are important for someone, you enter your life, not just in your messages or your bed“She says.
How to react if you recognize yourself in these signs?
If some of these signals speak to you, do not feel guilty.
“”Many stay for too long in a relationship where they are not the priority, because they hope it will change. Because they love. Because they fear being alone. It’s human!“reassures Amélie Boukhobza.
But by dint of being silent, minimizing, forgetting ourselves, we end up fading. And that has nothing to do with love.
“”You have to talk about it. Dare to put words. And if nothing happens, if there is no change, ask the essential questions: is this relationship good for me? When do I become my own priority again?“She concludes.