When complicity gives way to attraction, doubt can set in. How to explain this sudden click? And above all: is it a good thing to give in to temptation? Pascal Anger deciphers for True Medical this pivotal moment when everything changes… and the consequences it can bring.
How to explain this sudden click?
While you had never considered Alain, from near or far, you are now drowning in his beautiful blue eyes. So what happened that you never really looked at him?
“In reality, it is possible that we have always been in love with this friend without daring to admit it. Or that we are with a person who is not pleasant to us, and therefore that we want to have a relationship elsewhere”, analyzes Pascal Anger.
We must also remember that there can be “failures”: one or the other may have wanted to take action at given times… without being able to take the plunge. “But one day, this reciprocity will be understood, sometimes following a divorce, a separation or the bereavement of a partner,” affirms the practitioner.
Then, once the field is clear, this underlying attraction will reveal itself. It can also be enough for a little thing to turn friendship into love: a gesture, a look, an incredible scene…. and presto the machine takes off.
“A slip up during an evening can occur. Or more simply, a mutual understanding means that at a given moment, something tells us that there is hope, possibility, “flashing” green lights. Romanticism can also awaken us (a candlelit dinner, a movie outing in the rain, etc.), just like letting go: we trust each other here.“, specifies the expert.
So why not try to go a little further?
Be careful to think carefully before transforming a friendship into love
If the border between friendly and romantic feelings is sometimes blurred, and at the end of a drunken evening we may simply want to slip away, reality can quickly catch up with us.
“Sometimes, turning a friendship into love is not a good idea… Because we can lose this friend who is dear to us”, warns the psychologist.
Indeed, moving from platonic love to a real romantic (and carnal!) relationship is not trivial. This choice risks changing your links forever: “Previously, there was complicity, but no stories about the body or sexuality. DNow, there is a discovery at the physical level”, recognizes the expert.
Before taking the plunge, ask yourself a few questions: are these feelings deep and lasting, or do they fit into a particular context (loneliness, breakup, period of fragility)? Is it an old attachment that is resurfacing, or a temporary attraction linked to a certain proximity?
Once this has been clarified, you will be better able to make the best decision for you and your friend.