Dad is almost 100 years old. This is the life chosen by Pierre Sablé, a 91-year-old father who welcomed his seventh child, little Louisa Maria. A late fatherhood which surprises and which raises questions: if he and his wife say they are fulfilled, what about the rest of the siblings, who have no say here? Pascal Anger, clinical psychologist, deciphers these family upheavals for True Medical.
A 91-year-old baby… who will have a 60-year-old sister
Pierre Sablé does not want to be reduced to his age… And he makes it known! “I’m not that old, I’m 91“. For him, the arrival of little Louisa Maria therefore seems obvious. He savors the joys of this late fatherhood by being fully present. And in good shape! The nonagenarian, who ran the New York, Rome and Los Angeles marathons in the over 80 category, does not intend to stop there. For him, talking is not an option, but a real philosophy of life.
“I’m the only one running, doing trails (…) I work the land where we planted as if I were twenty years younger”, he admits.
For her part, Aïcha, the mother of little Louisa Maria, said to herself
“happy” with him. She assures that her husband is a
“very good dad, a very good life companion”, despite their age difference.
However, if this trio seems perfectly fulfilled – and blissful in front of the smiles of their youngest, aged six months today – what can the other children in the family think? “The oldest, Carole, is 60 years old“, reveals the father of the family to our colleagues. We can therefore naturally wonder about the moods of this extended family. Are they not feeling the brunt of the arrival of this new little sister? What about the role of each person? Pascal Anger tries to decipher these complex links where everyone, here, is obliged to redefine their place.
The father “skips” his grandfather’s place
Pierre Sablé’s grown children – one of whom is 60 years old – find themselves brothers and sisters again, without having chosen it. A real genealogical upheaval therefore takes place here: everyone sees their role reversed (the grandfather is also a father, Louisa Maria is also an aunt…).
“In this family, the father somehow “skips” his place as grandfather, even though there are roles and places to hold. admits Pascal Anger. In this context, many emotions can intertwine: some will be indifferent to the arrival of this little sister, others will be saddened or in difficulty. warns the specialist.
This also questions the father’s relationship with each of his children: differences in treatment may occur and fears may emerge, leading to jealousy and resentment (for example, if the father spends more time with this new baby than with his elders…). This birth therefore requires everyone to reinvent themselves.
The cycles of life exist… Should we really try to escape them?
“Questions of inheritance also appear in the background: one could be favored over the other. The publicized story of Alain Delon and his children has illustrated these family tensions. It is easy to imagine that the youngest could be advantaged,” underlines the psychologist.
Finally, let’s not forget the views of others and everything that happens within this extended family. Is the age difference between Pierre Sablé and his wife really accepted by his siblings and the entire family? What about the transmission of values? In my opinion, “should have been more reasonable“, admits the expert.
“Certainly, more and more men are becoming fathers at an advanced age, but the question of responsibility arises. This child will have a very low probability of seeing his parent accompany him until adulthood, and the family balance can be greatly weakened (…) itar, yes, the cycles of life exist and we cannot avoid them. Death is part of the journey. He may fear it, but he will not be able to prevent it.” concludes the practitioner.
Let us also remember that this extremely late fatherhood is not trivial for toddlers: an advanced age of the father increases the risks of prematurity, psychiatric disorders (schizophrenia, autism, bipolar disorders) and malformations.