Passing weapons on the internet. Monday, August 25, singer Aya Nakamura was the target of insults from her ex-companion, and father of her daughter, producer Vladimir Boudnikoff. The cause? The rumor of a relationship with rapper RK, who was obviously not to the taste of the 27 -year -old man.
“In three years, there have been people. And your daughters in all of this?”
If Instagram or X have already accustomed us to virulent exchanges between ex or stars, it has a very special sexist flavor. Because the reproaches of Vladimir Boudnikoff crystallized on a particular point: the private life of the young woman, which he deems far too “rich” since her departure. Then follows a message where he “lists” the supposed singer’s relationships.
“Damso … Niska and Boomi … Italian … Balotelli … Maluma … Thuram … I’m not going to make the list it’s too long … In three years it’s making people. And your girls? In all this?”
A story removed since, but revealing, who intends to judge a woman according to her intimate life.
Slut-shaming still has a bright future ahead
Simple ego injury? Not only. Because behind this list was a strong desire to show Aya Nakamura in a different light. That of a fickle or unstable woman. Especially since he knew his strong presence on the networks.
Pure “slut shaming” for Laure Salmona, co -founder of feminists against cyberbully responding to the media Huffpost. “”Men who multiply female conquests are considered to be tombs while women are accused of “not respecting” she reports. A still present behavior that had also been the victim Iris Mittenaere, when she had formalized her relationship with Antoine Dupont.
The touch in addition here? The relationship with maternity. Aya Nakamura, by multiplying relationships, would therefore be a bad mother? “It is a way to reduce them to categories and therefore dehumanize them. And this dehumanization process contributes to facilitate violence against women” Add the expert.
No, the number of relationships has nothing to do with the value of a woman
Finally, whether the singer chained partners or not should not be an argument. Evoke the number of his relationships either.
“The” Body Count “, in other words the number of sexual partners, is a” delusional “concept which has recently been recovered by reactionary speeches that seek to restore a value -based life scale of people” Recently explained us the sexologist Gianpaolo Furgiuele. “”These are moral judgments that perpetuate obsolete gender standards and maintain an unequal vision of sexuality “.
Foundations found in particular in masculinist remarks, which clearly indicate that a high body-cound (to flee) would therefore not make a “good wife” or here a good mother. Some people even going so far as to explain that multiplying partners would reduce the hormones of attachment … A fact however demystified by science.
But this phenomenon unfortunately seems to persist, on networks as elsewhere.
Get out of the slut-shaming, instructions for use
The sexologist also revealed to us the best answer in the event of “slut shaming”.
- Emphasize the present and not on the past :: “In a relationship, what matters most is the quality of exchanges, mutual pleasure”;
- Pamper your self -esteem : Doing a job on your self -esteem can help. “What others think or judge has only value if they are given … “;
- Get out of these networks, And favor real meetings, which do not pay in these questions.
For his part, Aya Nakamura preferred a more direct approach by responding to the sender: “Coming to the networks to invent a reputation with a random list all that because I want to be with you more? … Are you really not the most sharp knife of the drawer … Closed subject.”