“My loulou”, “Pitchoune”, “Doudou” … The baby talk, do you know? It is “is a way of speaking inspired by the language that we usually use with babies. Except that this vocabulary is sometimes used in an intimate setting, especially within the couple. An idea to copy? Amélie Boukhobza, clinical psychologist, shares her point of view.
Baby Talk, a language borrowed from babies
“My love cabbage”, “My darling doll” ‘, “My little heart”, “My cabbage” … Many couples give themselves small names to express their love. Sometimes simplified words are also used such as “Dodo”, “Bobo” or “Miam-Miam”. Childish turns, which often create a bond and which allow you to tease yourself – even comfort.
Talking like a baby in his half would even present certain advantages, according to science. A study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationshipships has thus proven that cute nicknames were associated with greater relational satisfaction among married couples. This childish language would indeed recall the first attachment relationships, those of early childhood. He would evoke security, sweetness, unconditional love.
In this sense, the Baby Talk could play a positive role in the couple, by creating a reassuring and accomplice space. However, this trend is still the subject of debate in certain specialists: by force, it could infantilize, even reveal an imbalance in the couple’s communication.
When it settles in permanently, the baby talk can become embarrassing
Because it would prevent two individuals from conversing like “adults”, the baby talk can be harmful.
“Personally, I can’t bear it already when children speak to adults as well, to soften them. This sweet, a little exaggerated voice, a little” baby “way … So, used by certain couples in intimacy … I do not think that is a good idea”, Confirms Amélie Boukhobza. “The researchers say that this” baby talk “is touching. That it would strengthen the link … but I am not convinced”, continues the expert.
And for good reason: the couple is already, in essence, a place of archaic regressions.
“We replay it – often without realizing it – the diagrams of childhood. However, the baby talk corresponds – precisely – to this infantile regression in an already regressive space by definition. A request for love addressed to the other, as we once addressed to his mother”, warns the specialist.
It is therefore advisable here to redouble their prudence: yes to sweet words from time to time, not daily.
“Yes, the baby talk can be a game … punctually. To laugh. But making it a permanent mode of communication amounts to hiding adult speech … and infantilizing the relationship”, warns the psychologist.
Clearly: Baby Talk is not a problem in itself. “”It all depends on what it tells, the place it takes … and the one we give to the other. Complicity? Or refuge not to face the real? Because, let’s be honest: when the baby talk settles, it becomes embarrassing. Annoying. Even frankly annoying “, concludes Amélie Boukhobza.