Every evening, the same scene comes up in many families: you ask “How was your day?” and your child responds with “fine” or shrugs. Quite frustrating, no? You want to know what he’s really going through, without putting him under pressure. It all comes down to how you ask your questions.
Rather than this closed formula,
open questions and concrete ideas transform the evening debrief. Here are 13 questions to encourage your child to speak, taken from the psychology of communication and adapted to everyday life. Because according to the German site Familie.de “This question also helps uncover inappropriate terms or language that may be circulating that may concern your child.”speaking of this type of exchange.
Open-ended questions to encourage your child to talk
Asking an open question invites the child to tell the story, not to check yes or no. Child psychologists recommend formulations that begin with “what,” “how,” or “who.” The tone matters as much as the words: calm voice, sincere curiosity, no obligation to respond right away.
Among these 13 questions, you can choose according to age:
- “What made you laugh today?” ;
- “What was your favorite moment?” ;
- “Was there anything difficult for you?” ;
- “Who did you like to spend time with?”;
- “Who surprised you?” ;
- “What new have you learned?”;
- “When did you feel proud?” ;
- “What game did you prefer at recess?”;
- “What were the other kids talking about?”;
- “Did you hear a word you didn’t know?”;
- “What made you angry or a little sad?”;
- “If your day were a drawing, what would it look like?”;
- “What would you like to do exactly the same tomorrow?”
What these questions reveal about your child’s day
When recounting a funny or difficult moment, the child often lets slip details about his playground, the words he hears, the trendy content. According to this text, these exchanges can also involve “on games or series that those around you may already be discussing”he continues, and “you have the chance to tackle new things straight away.”
Throughout the discussion, you hear the expressions he uses, the stories that revolve around his group. This is where you will spot a inappropriate vocabulary or a subject that concerns him, without accusing him. Rather than moralizing, you can ask what he thinks, what he understands, and calmly set your limits.
When your child doesn’t want to talk about their day
But there is also a right to silence, which should not be forgotten:
“It’s also completely normal that your child sometimes doesn’t want to talk about their day, it’s the same for us adults”indicates the media. In these moments, “a hug or just your silent presence often helps show that you are there”. Keep this silent presence shows that the door remains open and that you will listen to it when it is ready.