If the holidays do not always put an end to the arguments, very often, they still allow to get some fresh air. Discoveries for two, new rhythm, shared pleasures … summer is often conducive to rapprochement. But while you thought you had found a nice connection, the return is hectic. And that the opportunities to hang on. Where did the vacation benefit go?
Back to the problem box
According to psychologist Amélie Boukhobza, this passage is frequent in couples who find their routine. “”Holidays are often an enchanted parenthesis. We get out of everyday life, we agree, we find ourselves in two or in a small committee, without the pressure of schedules or the endless list of things to do. We breathe. And then, suddenly, we come back. The shock can be rough … “.
In question most often, the fatigue of the return associated with the return of the problems which, themselves, have not taken a vacation (emails which stack, invoices, well -filled agenda, return of children …). “The stress of everyday life takes over. And with him, which had been put in parentheses: old tensions, reproaches, disagreements. They had not disappeared. They were just waiting for the return of reality to resurface”.
To this is added the famous mental charge which can also fall without delay on the couple: who does what, when, how …
“”On vacation, you can improvise, let slip. Back home, you must necessarily reorganize, manage, plan. And in many couples, this distribution remains a very sensitive area. ” Especially when one of the partners feels more invested than the other.
Result: we have not yet tidy our flip flops, that the complicity of the holidays turns to the disputes of everyday life.
How to make the sweetness of the holidays last when it comes back
So how can we keep a little of this summer breath? “”By bringing small vacation pieces in everyday life ” advises our psychologist. “”An improvised dinner on a weekday evening, a portable walk, a weekend where you allow yourself to do nothing. And above all, what I always recommend, think about the next vacation …“.
Just to project yourself into a new dream. “”Because we don’t need to wait until July to blow in two. “
Because ultimately the holidays will neither eliminate nor amplify the problems. “”But they show that another rhythm exists, another way of being together. So the real challenge is to keep track of it, even imperfect, in everyday life. Basically, trying to make life beautiful even in everyday life! “.