Alchemy plays a key role in the dynamics of a couple. It goes beyond simple physical attraction: it is this little click, this energy that instinctively attracts us to the other. However, this alchemy alone is not enough to build a solid relationship. But where does this very special feel come from? It largely finds its origin in our brain. Studies reveal that when a person attracts us, our brain activity intensifies and triggers the release of neurotransmitters such as dopamine, noradrenaline, cortisol and serotonin – so many substances that influence our emotions and our behavior. Good news, it is possible to create alchemy.
Stop thinking too much
This is crucial, especially if you tend to worry too much. Avoid ruminating with each exchange. When you make an appointment to dissect each word or gesture, you no longer take full advantage of the present moment. Your thoughts take over to the point of preventing you from perceiving what is really going on around you. To avoid tormenting yourself too much on what might not go between you and your partner, choose to base your appointment on a common activity. Rather than just watching a movie or dinner, sharing an active experience promotes more authentic exchanges. This also creates a lighter frame, conducive to relaxation. Why not try the bowling alley or a cooking workshop? These playful moments alleviate the pressure and allow you to better savor the present moment.
Pay attention to his body language
An essential part of the link with someone lies in the attention you fully pay them. Observe it with your eyes and listen to it carefully. Knowing how to listen is crucial: nothing cools the interest faster than to feel put aside. During your exchanges, do not hesitate to participate actively, to nod, to show him that you are present and that his words count for you. Also pay attention to his gestures and facial expressions, which reveal a lot about his emotions and feelings towards you. If he seeks to establish physical contact, whether by taking your hand or by touching yourself gently, do not hesitate to give it this attention.
Avoid comparisons with your old relationships
Compare your current partner to a person in the past can affect the complicity you are trying to build. By remaining attached to what has been, you may miss what could be. Even if an old story has deeply marked you, that does not mean that you will never live a nice connection again. It can take time to reveal herself, or take a different form. What matters is what you share today, and it deserves your full attention. Bet on this emerging link, and remember the reasons that prompted you to embark on this new adventure.