Nothing is going well in your couple and the idea of divorce comes up regularly? Before taking the plunge and starting a procedure, the coach in divorce Grace Palmer, interviewed by the media Yourtangoinvites everyone to step back and ask themselves five essential questions, in order to measure all the implications of a separation.
Divorce or not, the question to ask yourself first
The first question concerns the very merits of the approach. “”Perhaps you have the impression that you have no other choice, and that for you, this is the only possibility“Indicates Grace Palmer. But she recalls that the decision does not only touch the spouses.”But there may be other people to consider in this situation. Because obviously, a divorce does not only concern adults, but also children“. The coach insists on the need to have a clear vision of what this decision represents before formalizing it.
Expectations and reality after separation
Often, the desire to break arises from the impression of having chosen the bad person and thinking that elsewhere, life would be simpler. “”Of course in certain situations of deception for example or for other situations, the divorce is inevitable, but is it really your case?“, Questions the expert. She adds:”Just make sure you can honestly assess your situation and categorize it accordingly“Many hope to find a development outside the couple:”You think that if you were only released from this person, you would be able to achieve real development“, she explains.”Be sure this is possible“, she warns, before qualifying:”And if so, don’t hesitate“.
Consequences of a divorce, which must be anticipated
Thinking about what divorce could bring is a step, but we must also consider the other side of the medal. “”It is quite possible that your situation will deteriorate if you arrive at the divorce. You may have financial problems, you could be separated from your children, you could lose your family relationships, even the approval of your loved ones“, Lists thanks to Palmer.
According to her, the last question to ask itself is undoubtedly the most direct: what does this separation really bring you? “”It is you who make the decision, and it is you who will have to live with the consequences of this choice“, Recalls the coach. And to conclude:”If you have carefully thought about the possibilities and made an informed decision -based decision, then you have done your best in a difficult situation. And that’s all that everyone can expect from you“.