Do you find yourself thinking, hours after a conversation, about a sentence that you may have worded incorrectly? To wonder if you unintentionally hurt someone? Then promise to do it differently next time? This kind of questioning is not necessarily a sign of a lack of self-confidence. He can also demonstrate real attention to others and the impact of his own behavior.
Being a “good person” obviously does not mean being perfect, never making mistakes, or always putting others before yourself. However, certain behaviors can demonstrate true empathy, a sense of responsibility and a desire to do better.
Why can kind people doubt themselves so much?
When a person self-reflects after hurting someone, acknowledges their mistakes, or seeks to repair a situation, they are demonstrating a form of personal responsibility. Asking yourself “could I have done differently?” shows in particular that we take into account the point of view of the other.
But be careful not to transform this capacity for introspection into permanent questioning. Feeling guilty about everything, systematically apologizing or thinking that you always have to do more to be appreciated is not necessarily kindness.
A person can be deeply caring and still know how to say no. The two are not incompatible. Limits allow us to preserve our own needs without ceasing to respect those of others.
These 7 signs can demonstrate true kindness
You care about the impact of your words
You not only wonder if you were “right”, but also how your words could have been received. When you realize you have hurt someone, you are able to come back from the situation rather than immediately trying to justify yourself.
You know how to recognize your mistakes
Making a mistake is not what defines a person. The way she reacts afterwards often says more. Being able to say “I was wrong”, offer a sincere apology and, when possible, repair the consequences of one’s behavior demonstrates a certain relational maturity.
You feel empathy, even towards people you don’t know
A person who is sensitive to the suffering of a stranger, to the distress of a person encountered in the street or to an unjust situation demonstrates an ability to take into consideration what others are experiencing. Empathy does not necessarily mean being able to solve the problem: sometimes, simply recognizing someone’s suffering is already a deeply human response.
You really listen to others
You let your interlocutor finish their sentence, you seek to understand what they are feeling and you do not systematically transform their problem into an opportunity to share your own experience.
This attentive listening is important in relationships: it allows the other to feel heard rather than judged or immediately “repaired” with advice.
The success of others does not prevent you from being happy for them
You may obviously feel a touch of jealousy or frustration: these emotions are human. But they don’t stop you from sincerely rejoicing when someone close to you gets a promotion, succeeds in a project or goes through a happy period.
Kindness therefore does not consist of never feeling negative emotions. It also lies in the way we choose to manage them.
You like to help, without necessarily expecting something in return
Doing a favor, getting news, offering help or doing something simply because it can make someone’s life easier are all behaviors associated with generosity.
But here again, one nuance is important: helping others does not mean being available all the time. Saying “I can’t this time” doesn’t undo all the times you’ve been there.
You respect others, regardless of their status
The way a person treats those from whom they have nothing to gain can be indicative of their values. Being polite to a waiter, a delivery person, a cashier, a person in a weak position, reflects a certain consistency in the way of considering others.
Being a good person does not mean accepting everything
This is perhaps one of the most important points. Kindness should not be confused with letting yourself be walked on.
We can be empathetic and set a limit. All. how one can be generous and refuse a service. You can also love someone and not accept some of their behavior. And finally, we can apologize when we actually made a mistake. Without apologizing just because another person is unhappy.
In other words, being kind to others does not exempt you from also being kind to yourself.
What if doubt was precisely the sign that you are thinking about your behavior?
Regularly asking yourself if you are doing the right thing does not, in itself, constitute proof that you are a “good person”. On the other hand, when this questioning is accompanied by empathy, the ability to recognize one’s mistakes, the desire to repair and respect for others, it can demonstrate true attention to one’s relationships.
The real issue is therefore perhaps not knowing whether one is definitively a “good” or a “bad” person. Rather, it consists of observing one’s behavior: do we know how to listen? Recognize your wrongs? Respect the boundaries of others? Repair when we have caused harm? And above all, can we continue to evolve?
No one is blameless. Kindness is also played out in these small, repeated choices which show that we take others into account without forgetting ourselves.