Having a little crush on someone else while in a relationship, is it harmless or a sign of a deeper problem? A study sought to answer this question by analyzing the romantic behaviors of several hundred people in a monogamous relationship. And the results are surprising to say the least.
A common phenomenon, especially in long relationships
The researchers interviewed 542 people aged 22 to 35, all in a relationship for at least three months. What do they have in common? They all admitted to having already had a “crush”, in other words, a crush on someone other than their partner.
The study reveals that the longer the relationship lasts, the more likely it is to experience attraction to another person. But does this mean that we are on the slippery slope of infidelity?
A crush, but not just one!
Contrary to the idea that one might have of an isolated and temporary “crush”, the results of the study show that the majority of participants have already had several crushes during their relationship:
- 24.2% fell for two other people;
- 14.7% have had three crushes;
- 27.1% have even had four or more crushes.
In other words, nearly seven out of ten respondents have already had at least two crushes while in a relationship. A figure which shows that attraction to other people is much more common than we think.
A well-kept secret and a privileged playground
One of the major lessons of the study is that almost 70% of partners are unaware of these secret attractions. And the place where these crushes are most often born? Work!
More than 38% of respondents say that their crush is on a colleague, a person they have known for an average of two years, before the attraction began. In general, this crush phase lasts about a year.
Does crush lead to infidelity?
Good news for couples: having a crush doesn’t necessarily mean being unfaithful. In fact, researchers showed that only 3% of participants ended up cheating on their spouse with the person in question.
Another factor plays a key role: the level of satisfaction in the relationship. The happier and more fulfilled we are as a couple, the less crush we have. Conversely, those who feel less fulfilled are more likely to have repeated crushes.
So, should you worry if you have a crush? Not necessarily. As long as it remains a fantasy without action, these little attractions seem to be part of the natural functioning of human desire.