While the Israeli strikes continue to rain on Gaza, that Israel and Iran have faced each other for a week, that Ukraine is still the victim of Russian missiles … Far families are worried. How to manage anxiety, when the life of his loved ones is threatened every day? Amélie Boukhobza, clinical psychologist and creator of the podcast You told me …we share valuable advice.
Violence and war stories have never been so close
Having a mother, a brother or a cousin residing in the war zone is not without consequences – this situation can even plunge the person concerned in a deep emotional distress.
“It is a waking up nightmare. We look at the information, we refresh the messages. We are waiting for a sign. And when nothing happens, it’s not reassuring – it’s worse. Having relatives in a war zone amounts to living permanent tension. With fear all the time, in the background … accompanied bya somewhat brutal form of helplessness “, says Amélie Boukhobza.
Attempting to maintain an almost ordinary daily life while being loved is threatened is, in fact, nothing natural. As soon as the anxiety -provoking thoughts are flocking and taking up all the space – until the mind completely saturates.
“We would like to do something. Help. Protect. Understanding. But we are there, far, finally … and the saturated spirit. So, how to hold?”, wonders the psychologist. “First of all, it is necessary to accept this anxiety. No, it is not an excess, it is a reflex: we are talking about hypervigilance here – the brain is on permanent alert. An exhausting and difficult to sustainable mechanism in the long term. But the only thing we can do is learn to regulate this emotion”, she says.
Close to the war zone: what to do to get better?
Offer yourself breaks … and disconnect
Only micro breathing can allow you to preserve your mental health somewhat.
“Limiting the exhibition to shocking images is not to flee reality. It is just a way to protect (a little) your nervous system to be able to stand up. Setting precise times to consult the news and not stay stuck there all day”, advises the practitioner.
Discuss
Another option: surround yourself … and exchange. “Talking, even if you don’t find the words, because anxiety feeds on silence. It must be said to those around you that we are not doing well. That we need support, without necessarily having to tell everything.”
Spend
Moving your body is also “primordial“, according to the expert. And for that, there is no need to chain the lengths in the pool. Walking or performing a neighborhood tour is enough to sweat … and boost your morale. “Stress is housed in the muscles, and movement helps to unload it. So even if you don’t want to, 10 minutes of sport are enough to free it”, specifies Amélie Boukhobza.
Wait for the wait
Write, testify, support a cause, organize local support … So many actions that allow meaning to this expectation.
“We cannot change everything, but we can do something, act and this little detail changes a lot of things. We feel less helpless, less useless too”.
In short, even if the spirit is struggling to turn away – because no, you never get used to living in fear for those we love – trying to go better remains vital. For oneself and for others.
“We can prevent this fear from devouring us entirely. And if the anxiety becomes too strong, too constant, too invasive: it is not a weakness to ask for help either. To pour somewhere … It is a necessity”, concludes the psychologist.