They have always loved each other, share their memories, their daily life, and yet … sometimes, everything collapses. Even after 20, 30 or 40 years of common life, some couples eventually separate. According to Jeff Guenther, American therapist, three reasons explain the end of these apparently solid stories.
When little attentions fade
Over the years, habits often take over. Compliments get away from it, tender gestures vanish, shared moments are becoming rare. The daily life, responsible for responsibilities, gradually encroaches on the complicity of the couple. This relaxation may seem trivial, but it gently undermines the foundations of the relationship.
Jeff Guenther insists on the importance of these shared moments: moments of quality for two, far from external pressures, are essential to feed the link. Their disappearance creates an insidious distance, difficult to fill.
The conflicts that run in a loop
No couple escapes the arguments. But when the disagreements remain unresolved, they end up turning into stubborn resentments. The same subjects come back, the reproaches accumulate, and the dialogue becomes toxic. It is one of the most alarming signals.
“”The same problems come back constantly, couples cannot find solutions“, Explains Jeff Guenther. In this spiral, the resentment takes over, accompanied by contempt or indifference. At this stage, it becomes difficult, if not impossible, to regain the initial balance.
When the life paths no longer meet
Love does not always guarantee a parallel evolution. Two people can love each other deeply at a time in their lives, then, over time, take opposite directions. A career change, personal awareness, or simply a different desire to live.
Jeff Guenther recalls that these distances are not always predictable or attributable to one of the partners. But when projects, desires, or even values no longer coincide, separation sometimes becomes the only option.