Drunned in everyday life, many couples are out of breath when the end of the day comes. Result ? Once the children are lying down or last day, they meet on the sofa, scrolling or looking for a program, until you feel fatigue take over. A program that does not really maintain passion in the couple. But then how to find the desire to be two?
3 hours to live at 2 each evening
A recent solution comes straight from Tiktok where Rachel Higgins, a young woman who shares her family moments on the networks, shares her new rule. Called the 3-hour rule, (in reference to the approximately 3 hours which you stay once the children in bed) this one cuts the evening in 3 key moments, which allow you to take care of yourself and its couple. And to benefit better from the present moment.
- One hour… of storage for two. Said like that, it doesn’t really want. But according to her, the storage of what has been able to accumulate lately allows you to lighten your morale to better start the evening. “We start with a quick cleaning of the kitchen or things that have accumulated throughout the day” she says. Enough to be more available later;
- An hour dedicated to the couple. And nothing but couple, without screen, calls or any other distraction. Rachel advises “Take a shower together, play a game together, everything that will make you talk and connect, debrief of the day”. In short, an hour of connection between you;
- One hour… for yourself. Finally the last before sleeping should be dedicated to you, just to refocus. “This is a time when you can do what you want for yourself, without judgment. I generally read a book“evokes the young woman.
But an impossible and guilty solution according to our shrink
On paper, the cutting is attractive. But can this rule really apply on a daily basis? And above all can it save a couple that takes water? Amélie Boukhobza, clinical psychologist, in doubt.
“His couple must above all take care of it. Give him attention. Nourish him, a little every day. Not stick an emotional productivity schedule” she reacts at the time.
According to her, this method which is undoubtedly suitable for this internet user is above all one more method to prevent the relationship from exploding under the weight of everyday life. “On paper, it’s attractive. Simple. Reassuring, perhaps. But in real life, who has three hours available every day? With a job, a child, races, a brain overload and a desire to blow a little?”.
In general, the problem when a couple suffers from routine is not the organization. “”It is that we live with tense flows. And that we even end up feeling guilty not to check all the boxes … including those of well-being “.
A new mental charge you don’t need
In itself, the 3 -hour rule still has an advantage. That of pointing the light on a necessary time for the couple and for oneself, so as not to lose foot. Thus, put the screens aside and focus on your half once calm has returned, or make you go, can only do you good. “”But making it a rigid rule is still one more pressure “ underlines Amélie Boukhobza.
On the contrary, it proposes to accept that you cannot control everything. And try to find a balance anyway.
“The couple is also indulging in life. To the unexpected. With the unexpected. Sometimes it is five minutes stolen in the bathroom. Other times, a coffee shared in silence. And sometimes, it’s just surviving the day without slamming the door. And it’s already a lot”.
So yes, of course you have to think about preserving your couple. But not by counting the hours. And by recreating moments of complicity … but not stuck between 9 and 10 p.m. each evening for checking it in your to-do list.