If there are many forms of intelligence in life (spatial, verbal-linguistic, creative, emotional, etc.) a sentence would help defuse many tensions and conflicts. This would also be used by individuals with high emotional and social intelligence. Aline Nativel Id Hammou, clinical psychologist, deciphers for True Medical what formulation this is.
Intelligent people would not seek to dominate the debate
According to the media Sain et Naturel, this sentence is none other than “I don’t agree with you, but I respect your point of view“. And if it seems almost a little banal at first glance, it would actually allow tensions/pressure to go down a notch.
It indeed reflects a certain ability to accept the plurality of opinions. As the newspaper points out, this posture of listening and respecting points of view is often associated with great open-mindedness/emotional intelligence.
During heated topics, the sharpest minds do not seek to dominate the debate; they favor mutual understanding and make dialogue a space of enrichment rather than a field of confrontation.
An observation that is also validated by Aline Nativel Id Hammou, clinical psychologist.
Validate the opinion of others, while retaining your own
For the expert, this sentence mobilizes both intrapersonal and interpersonal intelligence: that is to say the ability to know oneself while taking into account others in relationships and communication. Say “I don’t agree with you” in fact amounts to assuming one’s own position, without denying what one thinks. And the end of the sentence “but I respect your point of view” allows the link to be preserved.
Important detail, “The word “but” here marks an opposition of ideas, but not an opposition of people“, recalls the expert.
The psychologist specifies, however, that the “yes, but…”
can sometimes be perceived as invalidating if it serves to minimize or brush aside the other’s opinion. Here, the issue is different: it is about recognizing the existence of two distinct points of view, without hierarchizing them. In other words: “I don’t agree with you, but I’m not against you”.
This posture makes it possible to maintain respectful communication and open a space for exchange based on listening, kindness and mutual appreciation, confirms the practitioner.
“We can encounter differences in perspectives, points of view, while being able to respect others, but also respect what we think ourselves”,
she recalls.
Accepting divergence therefore does not mean renouncing one’s convictions, nor imposing one’s own – it means recognizing that everyone can perceive a situation differently. This ability to express disagreement without fear, while respecting the thoughts of others, demonstrates true relational maturity.
Building trust allows us to broaden our horizons
By adopting this key phrase, you will be able to establish a climate of trust, “in the context of a friendship, but also in different social contexts such as the family circle or even work“, specifies Aline Nativel Id Hammou.
This emotional validation normally helps to reduce tensions, conflicts and emotional outbursts. “Which is to say: I don’t agree with you but I can understand how you feel. summarizes the expert.
“Indeed, even if we do not agree with someone, it is important to validate what they feel, what they perceive. We are in a form of subjectivity that we cannot take away from the other,” specifies the specialist.
In this context, active listening, fairness and mutual understanding become essential levers for moving towards a compromise or, failing that, a constructive dialogue.
Finally, this posture allows us to broaden our horizons: “it takes us out of sometimes rigid thinking, while enriching our own thinking. We can even feel a certain pride in succeeding in communicating with others, without tension or conflict.” underlines the practitioner.
A valuable relational skill, both in friendly and family relationships and in the professional context!