Refuse to make an appointment with the doctor for fear of the diagnosis, divert an unpleasant remark during a family meal … These avoidance behaviors are more widespread than we imagine. Psychologists designate them under a speaking expression: ostrich.
A mechanism that worsens problems
Pascal Anger psychologist explains so: “To make the ostrich is to keep unlikely conflicts and ignored problems, as if it was miraculously resolved on its own. “
A rarely winning bet. “”In reality, conflicts are rooted and nothing is settled. This generates a loss of self -confidence and complicates things, very often. “
This behavior is perceived as a lack of interest or a form of resignation. “”This also suggests that we lack interest or lower your arms in the face of a problem “adds the specialist.
From childish curiosity to adult selection
If children spontaneously show curious, multiplying the questions, when do you switch to avoidance? This is studied by a team from the University of Chicago, led by Professor Radhika Santhanagopalan. Their work, published in Psychological Scienceshow that the tendency to avoid certain information increases between 5 and 10 years.
The researchers identified five main motivations for this choice to “stay in ignorance”:
- Avoid negative emotions (anxiety, disappointment);
- Escape the bad news on oneself;
- Protect your beliefs;
- Preserve your preferences;
- Act in your own interest or hide this interest.
From childhood, these logics are manifested. A child can for example want to ignore why his favorite candy is bad for the teeth, while agreeing to hear the lack of a treat that he likes less.
When avoidance settles
According to the study, children aged 5 to 6 are actively looking for information, even if it is uncomfortable. But between 7 and 10 years, a changeover takes place: they begin to dodge certain data, especially those which risk provoking negative emotions.
Researchers talk about a “moral maneuver “ : avoidance makes it possible to act in your own interest while maintaining the impression of acting fairly.
Thus, in an experience, children had to choose between two buckets of stickers each containing an unknown number. The older ones often avoided checking the quantity of the other bucket, which allowed them to choose the most advantageous without feeling guilty. “”This veil of ignorance allows them to act in their own interest while maintaining the illusion of equity “underlines Professor Santhanagopalan.
How to get out of avoidance?
Ignoring certain information can occasionally protect from stress. But in the long term, this reflex becomes a trap: it limits enlightened decision -making and strengthens our biases.
Pascal Anger insists on the importance of a change of attitude: “Take self -confidence, say what you think, what you want, assume your choices and no longer leave problems without solution. “
A way to face reality – and to assume the consequences.