We all have a couple in our circle who have loved each other for… We can’t say how long exactly, as we have always known them together. However, even married couples can end up breaking up. And here are the three main reasons for these divorces, according to Jeff Guenther, an American therapist based in Portland.
The loss of little touches
Over time, routine settles into the couple and the little touches gradually disappear. We forget to compliment the other, to tell him or her how much he or she means to us… While these small daily signs of affection actually serve as glue to the couple.
The therapist also reminds us of the importance of quality time spent with others. An essential time to reconnect and strengthen the couple, far from the constraints of everyday life. When these elements disappear, a certain distance ends up setting in and ultimately affecting the relationship.
Unresolved conflicts
All couples have their moments of disagreements and conflicts. But when they are not resolved, they enter a chronic phase and end up lasting over time. The couple then finds themselves trapped in a series of endless reproaches, which deteriorates the relationship.
“The same problems keep coming back, couples can’t find solutions“, explain
Jeff Guenther. Resentment, contempt and emotional exhaustion then take precedence over feelings. This poisons the relationship, which eventually breaks down.
Paths that separate
Everyone evolves over time. This is why couples who met when they were 20 are no longer quite the same at 40. In the best case, this evolution occurs in a complementary manner. But sometimes the members of the couple take a different direction, making the relationship impossible.
Jeff Guenther reminds us that this phenomenon is not necessarily the fault of one or the other, and it can be impossible to predict. The only certainty: completely opposite individual developments create divergences in the relationship, which generally end up being insurmountable for the couple.