While the holidays have just started, you are already frustrated. Was leaving with your in-laws for ten days, was it really the idea of the century? Between everyone’s rhythm differences and promiscuity, which was to be a moment of relaxation is more complicated than expected. Fortunately, Amélie Boukhobza, clinical psychologist, gives us some tips to avoid implosion.
Adjust your expectations
We expect from vacation that they are a moment of rest, relaxation, joy and shared pleasures.
“But cohabiting several days with his in-laws can quickly become … sport. Small remarks, different habits, opposite rhythms: everyday life does not necessarily go as we imagined. Even when” everyone gets along well “, it remains a human group, with its expectations, its susceptibilities, its underground tensions. To want the stay to be perfect, it is often the basics. First of all, to say things frankly is not always a good idea. advises Amélie Boukhobza.
Keep a space to you
After spending the whole day to chat with the great-aunt of your partner, you are exhausted. The problem ? Your in-laws again offers you an energy-consuming activity: to make yet another part of pétanque under 40 degrees. A proposal, which you can refuse.
“Remember to keep a space for you. Ten minutes of calm, a solo stroll, a jogging, a coffee alone with a book … These moments are important not to flee, but to breathe”, underlines the psychologist.
Avoid romantic account settlements
It goes without saying that the living room of your parents-in-law is not the ideal place to settle your love disputes.
“Now is not the time to settle everything. On” external “terrain, it is better to postpone reproaches. Avoid settling of account in camping mode – and any public scandal. Which can wait … wait”, recalls the expert.
Learn to say no
Another precious advice delivered by our psychologist: to refocus on his needs, asking himself the following question: “What do I need during this vacation?“.
“Because these are also your vacation. Need to rest? Do you have the right to breathe: there is no need to take part in each family activity. Need lightness? Nothing forces you to get into large background debates around a glass of rosé”, indicates the specialist.
Choose your degree of involvement
We do not choose his in-laws. But you can choose how to be there, how far get involved. “Place your limits is not only legitimate, but it is (also) often what saves links … and the atmosphere!”, concludes Amélie Boukhobza.