The person buys a gift that they like
This is a fairly common scenario, like when someone gives you a sweater in a color they love but that you never wear. “When we are very close to a person, we tend to identify with them. We imagine that because we like this gift very much, it will satisfy the other. But empathy requires entering into the universe of the other, to grasp their unspoken desires”analyzes Dominique Chapot.
The gift is bought in a hurry
The first plausible explanation for this chronic disappointment could not be more practical. Some people wait until the last minute to buy their presents, and do not anticipate the holiday season at all. “Their purchases then take on an obligatory nature, which removes any notion of pleasure. Furthermore, buying in a hurry generally does not allow for personalization. the gift. We must not forget that a gift always reveals something of the bond between the one who gives it and the one who receives it.”affirms Dominique Chapot.
The person forces themselves to give a gift when they don’t want to
Giving a gift is never a free act. An implicit message always accompanies the present: “This is how I see you”, “How much I love you”, “What you deserve”… So, some people make a mistake because they are not in the rhythm of the relationship, it is experiencing a slump, or they simply do not have a crush on the person to whom they are giving a gift.
For example, a gift as impersonal as a box of chocolates will clearly reveal the lack of intimacy between two people. “Depending on the context (not a thank you gift for a dinner, editor’s note), this type of gift can be humiliating for the individual receiving it”adds the specialist.
The person absolutely wants to surprise
Some people persist in springing surprises every year, even if it means missing the point completely.
“It starts from a good feeling but they put themselves in danger”notes Dominique Chapot. Indeed, offering a French cookbook to a person who has just gone on a diet will certainly not make them happy. And people also often change their tastes, so lovers of surprises had better be up to date!
The person is stingy
If some people give gifts that do not please them, this can sometimes be explained by their lack of empathy and generosity. “Some people are always afraid of missing out and then we also have to see that behind gifts, there is always a notion of gift in return: giving a gift is never completely disinterested”,
observes Dominique Chapot. In other words, if the person thinks that you did not give a gift worthy of theirs last year, it is possible that they will decide to give you a much less nice one the following year!
The person does not have the sense of gift
You probably know people who spend lavishly to prepare a good meal for their guests, but who never give nice gifts. We cannot therefore speak of stinginess among them. “For some people, especially men, manufactured products simply do not have emotional value,” notes the expert.
How to find the ideal gift?
If it’s you who has trouble pleasing others with your gifts? Here are some tips to avoid making mistakes again.
- Remember that the most important thing is the message that accompanies the gift, more than the present itself. It shows the affection or admiration you have for the other person, the time you want to devote to them, etc. And then remember that some gifts can be misinterpreted like a bar of soap or deodorant!
- Take your time by planning ahead. The ideal is to buy the gift when you have full empathy with the other person. For example, you have just spent an evening together and you come across a present in a window that really looks like it. And then write down all your good ideas throughout the year!
- Ask the person to write their list to Santa and draw from it to be sure to please him.
- Also think about gift boxes such as boxes which allow you to offer a restaurant or a night in an original place. However, accompany this gift with a short written message otherwise it will be perceived as impersonal.
- Take care of the presentation with tissue paper and big bows. This shows all the respect and interest you have in a person.
- If you are “broke”, you can always make a gift yourself, such as a perpetual calendar, a very beautiful letter with photos, a personalized t-shirt or even a scrapbook.