In 2026, a word comes up repeatedly in couples’ conversations and on TikTok: monkey branching. In a world saturated with dating apps, DMs that never stop and exes that we keep as friends, some breakups are no longer done honestly. The stories overlap, one emotional “branch” replaces the other without any real downtime.
Psychologists see it as toxic relationship tendency typical of the time, which blurs the line between relationship crisis and infidelity. Because everything doesn’t always happen in bed: very often, betrayal begins in messages, confidences and carefully maintained plan Bs. Behind, the emotional damage can be lasting.
Monkey branching: from metaphor to psychic mechanism
Concretely, the monkey branchingit is the act of preparing a new relationship before having ended the previous one. Like a monkey that only lets go of one branch once it grabs onto the next, the person remains officially in a relationship while building an emotional, romantic, or sexual connection elsewhere. Psychologist Sabrina Romanoff sums it up: “Monkey branching is actually an emotional cover-up. The person wants to make sure there is another branch to cling to before taking the risk of breaking up with their current partner“, she explained for Very Well Mind.
Psychologists mainly describe a protection mechanism. Fear of being alone, low self-esteem, difficulty supporting uncertainty or couple conflicts fuel this functioning. “People who behave this way are not doing it to be cruel. They do it out of fear, because they don’t want to be alone“, underlined Sabrina Romanoff. Anxious or avoidant attachment styles also promote this escape towards a “rescue branch”.
Signs of monkey branching: red flags to watch out for
This pattern does not always look like blatant deception. It often advances hidden, with a series of confusing micro-signals:
- Emotional distance, less profound conversations, projects together put aside;
- Suddenly busier schedule, vague or impossible to specify outings;
- Appearance of a very present “new friend” (colleague, sports partner, online contact);
- Ultra-protected phone, screen turned, social networks locked;
- Avoidance of discussions about the future;
- Search for arguments, increased criticism to justify a breakup;
- New relationship almost immediately after separation.
At home, certain signs also raise questions: finding yourself fantasizing about a life with someone else, investing in this bond in secret, hiding your messages from your partner, stopping working on the current relationship while keeping this reassuring “backup”. Even without sexual activity, the couple finds themselves three on an emotional level.
How to protect yourself from monkey branching
For people who experience it, experts speak of a form of emotional infidelity. “When you are in a committed relationship, including a third person without your partner’s consent undermines that commitment“, recalled therapist Claudia de Llano. Sabrina Romanoff added: “When your partner secretly invests their energy and attention in others, cheating can be devastating“. Naming this reality, refusing to feel responsible for the betrayal, setting clear limits and, if necessary, cutting contact helps to rebuild oneself, ideally with the support of loved ones or a therapist.
For those who recognize themselves in the monkey branchingthe central track consists of learning to be single, accepting the void between two stories, working on your self-esteem and your fears of abandonment. Dare to say that something is no longer right, to break up without a safety net rather than cultivating a plan B, and to engage in work of autonomous emotional regulation with a professional can profoundly transform the way we love.