In each family or circle of friends, there is always this person who monopolizes the conversation without ever letting a silence settle. Intarissable cousin, colleague pipelette or jacket friend, these words with words exhaust by their continuous flow. Amélie Boukhobza, clinical psychologist, gives the keys to stop people who speak too much without hurting them.
Compulsive chatty, explanatory behavior
The expression, born in the 18th century, illustrates this word which turns endlessly, like a wheel impossible to stop. This irrepressible need to speak can translate hyperactivity, lack of self -confidence, a desire to attract compassion or even a difficulty in empathy. The “talkaholic” relieves itself by speaking, even if it interrupts the group or ignores the reactions. Result: his loved ones end up avoiding it. But before arriving at cutting bridges, solutions exist to calm these excess words.
Amélie Boukhobza’s advice to regain control
Clinical psychologist Amélie Boukhobza recommends above all “not to enter their rhythm“. Faced with a word mill, no need to feed the machine:”Then we keep short and precise answers so as not to feed the flow“.
Then, to reverse the dynamics, it is advised “to refocus the conversation by asking a more precise question or by introducing a new subject“. A subtle way of regaining hands, without brutally cut the other.
If despite all the speech is dragged, Amélie Boukhobza suggests a clear and polished approach: “On the other hand, if the dialogue drags on, we can politely and kindly make us understand that we must leave or that we have something to do … just to put an end to the discussion without conflict, while posing a clear limit. You can also use humor depending on the degree of proximity that we have with the person. A light humor, teased on the fact that he or she speaks a lot“.
When the word with words becomes invasive
In some cases, placing subtle limits is not enough. The psychologist recalls that it is then necessary to verbalize: “You can just say things. Explain, with tact, that we need a slightly more balanced exchange“.
Thus, the art of managing compulsive talkatives does not reside in frontal confrontation but in the establishment of clear relational rules, to find a real exchange.