Two months that he expects to know if he is with his best boyfriend. And the start of the school year showered all his hopes. Your child finds himself far from his friends, or even alone in an unknown class (which is more common in college). A drama for him, a pebble in the shoe for you. But what to do against what he is taking for an injustice?
Integrate another class, mission impossible?
First inevitable reflex: your child begs you to change it class. But is it possible? In theory yes, at least you can always request it from the establishment. But nothing says that it will be accepted.
Composing classes is a long -term work that asks teachers and heads of establishment to coordinate several parameters: levels by levels, gender diversity, common options, languages, etc. But also more complex situations such as harassment. Suffice to say that if you ask for a change by “comfort” so that loulou is with his best friend after the start of the school year, you are probably going to a refusal.
On the other hand, a request on the imperative reason seems admissible (harassment, litigation with the teacher ..). But then again, the director or the principal will have the power to access your request … or not. According to professionals, dialogue with the director or the principal, as soon as possible, or even before the long holidays, remains the best option.
A notch above, is also the rectorate, even justice, for parents who would not gain cause. But according to the professionals, it takes a “concrete” file for this to obtain said change.
Welcome disappointment with your child: instructions for use
Then remains the most “wise” option when it comes to the disappointment of not being with your loved ones: doing with it, and accompanying your child in this ordeal … which can also panic more than one parent.
A plan that can include several stages as Amélie Boukhobza, clinical psychologist:
First of all, listen to disappointment, The anger, the anxiety of the child. “”It’s not nothing, it’s not in his head. For him, it is important. And the simple fact of being heard will already help him digest the news. “
Afterwards, put back from movement. “”A class is not frozen precisely. Relations are evolving, places redefined. Today he does not like, but he has not yet discovered all the people in the group, all the possibilities, all the nuances ” advise our shrink. We can therefore remind the child that first impressions change. “And fortunately!” That he can give new relationships a chance, to new links.
Finally, Expand the frame. The class is a lot of time, but that is neither all of school life, nor all the life at all: there is the playground, the canteen, the extra -curricular activities, the friends next door. “”If the child feels that he has other spaces where he feels good, it lightens the weight of the rest. “
To accompany is not always to give in and make feet and hands to change things. This is also that: to recognize discomfort, to open up perspectives, to show that nothing is immutable. “And give confidence in his ability to adapt. Because he will get there. Perhaps not immediately, maybe not as he wanted at the start. But who knows? It may be even better on arrival.“Concludes our psychologist.