For 21 years, Julien Clerc has been spinning perfect love with Hélène Grémillon, 30 years younger. Far from frightening them, this age difference would even seem to bring them together – to the point of being presented as a real “advantage”, according to the singer. But when experience and references diverge, how to maintain harmony? What is the secret of these different couples, and yet united? Amélie Boukhobza, clinical psychologist, helps us better understand this atypical love.
A couple at first sight incompatible
It was in the columns of Télé 7 Jours magazine, that Julien Clerc (77 years old) spoke of his romantic relationship with Hélène Grémillon (48), who has shared her life since 2004.
“”My love life does not worry me. With Hélène, we form a fusional couple, with a sufficient age difference so that, precisely, things are easier“He said.
However, on paper, the difficulties caused by this age gap are multiple. The experience of life can keep the two lovebirds away (“offbeat” professional evolution, possible divorces and remarriage, children born from a previous union, mourning …) in the same way as the past love (one that has lived several long relationships, the other not …).
Cultural or generational benchmarks may also not be aligned – since everyone has grown in a separate “world” (Ariana Grande can quickly confront Jean -Jacques Goldman during a blind test).
Differences that question, but are not incompatible, according to Amélie Boukhobza.
An age gap … which can feed the relationship
“Less expectations, fewer ego conflicts, less comparisons? Why not. But this gap also questions, because in a couple, having the same age guarantees nothing. What matters is the way each one adjusts to the other. And sometimes, some differences soot up: we do not seek the same thing, at the same time, which can be relaxing. But beware: these deviations can also dig the relationship and complicate the relationship and complicate the relationship” warns the psychologist.
In addition, we do not go through life in the same way at 30, 45 or 60 years.
“The references are different, the emergencies too, and the rhythm of life is sometimes opposed. So many elements which often require an additional effort to understand each other, to grant desires. Because without vigilance, the relationship can slip into a disguised parent/child relationship or enclose each in a dynamic not chosen, even in a situation which we do not want”, continues the expert.
In summary, it is therefore not so much the age gap that makes things simpler.“It is rather the ability to create a fair link. To remain curious about the other, without wanting it to look like us at all costs”, concludes Amélie Boukhobza.