You just met someone special and everything seems perfect. But be careful not to skip the steps! Premature intimacy (PMI) can be a real trap, warns relationship expert Jessica Alderson. This behavior, which is increasingly widespread, can scare the other person away and compromise the chances of a lasting relationship. Decryption.
What is “premature intimacy”?
This term refers to establishing intimacy too quickly in a new relationship. This can manifest itself in several ways:
- Sharing personal information too soon;
- Talk about future plans from the first dates (“How many children do you want?” “At what age do you want to get married?”);
- Being too tactile or too clingy from the start.
“This involves engaging in intimate behavior too early in a new relationship“, explains Jessica Alderson in
Stylist UK.
If the intensity of the beginnings can seem magical, excess eagerness can stifle the relationship and scare the other person.
An increasingly widespread problem
According to a survey of 6,000 Americans by the dating site Plenty of Fish, premature intimacy is one of the most common problems in today’s romantic relationships.
“This can range from holding hands too soon to sharing very personal information before the connection has had time to develop“, specifies Jessica Alderson.
While this need to get closer quickly is understandable, it can also scare away a partner who doesn’t feel ready to commit as quickly.
Who is affected by PMI?
People with a high need for affection are often the most prone to this behavior. “Some people are afraid of being rejected or abandoned and think that by opening up quickly, they can create a strong bond,” analyzes Jessica Alderson.
Others believe that by sharing their secrets early on, they will be seen as more trustworthy. However, this excess of intimacy can break the mystery and accelerate the end of the relationship.
How to avoid premature intimacy?
To build a healthy relationship, it is essential to respect a natural rhythm.
“Gradually revealing personal details can contribute to the pleasure of discovering more about the other person over time“, recalls Jessica Alderson.
If you feel like the relationship is moving too fast and it’s making you uncomfortable, it’s important to talk to your partner about it.
What to do in case of PMI?
- Express your discomfort sincerely;
- Be honest and direct, but also caring;
- Establish clear boundaries.
“When done the right way, it won’t damage your connection and could instead create a stronger bond based on open communication and respecting each other’s boundaries.“, concludes the expert.
Taking your time is not a hindrance to love, it is a way of preserving it.