In the fall of 2024, the Mazan rape trial, as disturbing as it was, ended with a hope: that of making the unthinkable visible (rapes under chemical submission). To express the horror and punish it, for collective awareness. But a recent survey reveals a worrying reality. Broadcast on January 13 on Savoir Média, the documentary Ready to sleep with a sleeping woman?directed by Hugo Meunier and Cloé Giroux, questions the real impact of the Mazan affair on mentalities. The observation is chilling.
An announcement, and more than a hundred worrying responses
The investigation was based on a reflection by Caroline Darian, Gisèle Pélicot’s own daughter, for whom the Mazan affair would be “the tree that hides the forest”. In other words, an extreme case revealing a much broader reality.
Convinced that Quebec was further ahead on the notion of consent, the journalist published a false ad on the Jalf dating site. The message suggested that men sleep with a woman presented as sleeping, without her waking up. Surprise ! In 48 hours, 105 men responded favorably. Only three mention the question of consent. Only one explicitly talks about rape.
Even when the use of sleeping pills is mentioned unequivocally (and the context is unambiguous) the responses remain unchanged. “No problem,” some write. The memory of Mazan does not seem to trigger any discomfort or questioning.
The lighting of Amélie Boukhobza: consent and dangerous confusion
For psychologist Amélie Boukhobza, the results of this investigation are clear. And send shivers down your spine.
According to her, the problem is clear: “Do we still have a massive problem understanding consent? Obviously yes.”
It recalls essential basics which do not seem to be law:
“To sleep is not to consent. To be silent is not to consent. Fantasized in one’s head, it is not authorized in reality. You should really remember it!”
The psychologist also emphasizes a major confusion between fantasy and acting out. “To have a thought, even a disturbing one, is not to act.” But, she specifies: “Actively seeking to achieve it, contacting someone, projecting yourself into a real scene… there we change register. We are no longer just in the imagination. We have an intention. And that’s where it gets worrying.”
A question of power, not desire
We can also ask ourselves another question, perhaps just as disturbing. Why do certain male fantasies remain so closely linked to domination, to the erasure of the other, to their objectification, to the impossibility for the other to respond? For Amélie Boukhobza, the heart of the problem is not only sexual, but deeply relational.
“A sleeping woman is not a partner. She is a body rendered mute, passive, without the possibility of saying no. In other words, it is not shared desire. It is the taking of power.”
Online anonymity plays a role, but does not explain everything: “It disinhibits. But that doesn’t create the problem. It reveals it.”
Consent, a subject to be repeated tirelessly
Implicitly, one conclusion is essential: despite the trials, the debates and the speeches, consent is still perceived by some as a negotiable detail.
However, as the psychologist reminds us, “consent is not an option. It’s an absolute condition.”
A disturbing reality which shows that, even after Mazan, the collective work is far from finished.