Learning to pose limits could well be the “keys to well-being. Amélie Boukhobza, clinical psychologist, identifies seven situations in which to say” no “becomes essential. Behind this short and simple word, hides a powerful mental health lever. A personal protection tool, often underestimated.
Why is it so important to know how to say “no”?
To say “no” still remains too often perceived as an act of opposition, even selfishness. However, it is quite the opposite. Refusing what does not suit us does not mean being closed or insensitive. On the contrary, it is a way of listening, to respect yourself … and to free yourself.
“”It is certain that before talking about personal development, happiness, fulfillment, we forget to say that one of the most powerful levers is simply … to know how to say no. A non -simple. A no that sets a limit, a no that protects. And this “no” is not always so easy …“Recalls Amélie Boukhobza.
Here are seven forms of “no” that we would benefit from using more often.
Say no to what exhausts us socially
Evenings without envy, empty meaning dinners, discussions suffered or incessant WhatsApp groups … So many solicitations that can become energy -consuming.
“”I think of course of all these dinners where we have nothing to say. These evenings where you don’t want to go. These conversations that we undergo. These WhatsApp groups which vibrate all day long. We have the right to love others … without wanting to be with them all the time“Recalls the psychologist.
Say no to disguised obligations
These apparently harmless requests end up weighing when they accumulate. A “quickly done” service, a small detour, a five -minute coffee … always for others, rarely for yourself.
“”It’s never nothing when it’s always us. By force, we forget ourselves. We get tired and it ends up weighing“, Underlines Amélie Boukhobza.
Say no to the injunctions to happiness
Positive thought, yoga, newspaper … These tools can be beneficial, but should never become an imposed standard.
“”Make yoga, think positive, write in a gratitude journal … If we want it and it makes us feel good, why not, but it is not an obligation. We also have the right to be sad, angry, lost … without trying to repair immediately“Explains the specialist.
Say no to family guilt
Some family remarks can handle or feel guilty, under the guise of love. It is then healthy to put things in their place.
“”Some families know how to play the sensitive rope very well. “You never come”, “You prefer your friends”, “You make your life”. Yes. So what? This is called growing up, putting your priorities. And this is not a crime“Underlines the psychologist.
Say no to unrealistic expectations in the couple
Love does not justify supporting everything or ending everything. It is healthy to recognize its emotional limits.
“”You can’t give everything, understand everything, fill everything. And sometimes you have to know how to say: no, I can’t be all that for you“She says.
Say no to yourself, sometimes
It happens that our own requirement becomes our worst enemy. This small inner voice which pushes us to make always more deserves to be put back in its place.
“”To this small inner voice which pushes to make always more, always better, always quickly. We can listen to it, but we don’t have to obey him “warns Amélie Boukhobza.
Say no to toxic relations
Whether they are friendly, in love or professional, certain relationships become destructive. Learning to say “stop” is sometimes vital.
“”To these twisted, reproaching relationships, who pose you in culprit, who hurt you. To all these stories, we can say stop. Still starting by asking the question: is it good for me?“Asks the psychologist.
Say “no”, a mental health act
Choosing to say no is neither to reject nor hurt. It’s just choosing yourself. A step towards a more aligned, more peaceful daily life.
“”In short: knowing how to say no is a choice of mental health. It is not rejecting. It is not hurt. Is to choose. For its balance!“Concludes Amélie Boukhobza.