To take stock of a forgotten duty, know who takes care of the sale of cakes, or know the schedule of the next sports course, parents have a new tool: WhatsApp. More extension discussion in front of the school portal. Everything is now wondering in real time with your fingertips, in a group of parents of students. A constantly open discussion that ends up flooding messages (and smileys). And who sometimes is quickly joined by the group of the football club, dance, or that of the music school … But when does it “stop?
Why do these small groups really exhaust us?
The problem with these groups that are all “practical” is the shift that often takes place. “”We enter it for a practical info, (the schedule of a school outing, the list of supplies, etc.). And very quickly, it skids: 200 messages to find out who makes Madeleines, endless debates on birthdays. Without forgetting everyone’s unnecessary and unnecessary comments. Result: we go out washed ” Talk about experience Amélie Boukhobza, clinical psychologist; But also mom.
Why does that exhaust us? Because this constant flow leaves no respite in our already busy days. “We almost think we miss something if we don’t follow. We open our phone and discover hundreds of notifications. So we read diagonally, for fear of being” the parent next to the plate “. In the background, there is the pressure: do not fail, show that you are involved, and avoid the label of the “bad parent” …
And then these groups are not neutral. They crystallize the comparisons. “”Whoever always responds first. The one posting at any time. The other who always offers more. It becomes a social scene, with its injunctions and its implicit judgments. We find ourselves saying “Ah, this is the perfect parent who responds to everything” … or to judge the one who makes three faults per message. In short, a certain vision of hell.“”
4 tips for a more reasonable WhatsApp
So, how not to be exceeded? The whole thing is probably to accept first that we cannot follow everything. That it does not matter to arrive afterwards. That it does not have to become a barometer of its parental value. But concretely how do we do it? Here are 4 rules to be implemented from the start.
- Cut notifications (when you work or at night …)
To preserve your tranquility, put the group in silent mode at certain times. You may have around thirty messages when you wake up, but at least you will have slept peacefully. - Place rules from the start
From the creation of the group, specify its objective: to exchange useful information on the life of the class. No criticism of the teacher, no unnecessary duplicates, no messages after a certain hour and no videos or off -topic discussions. It’s better by saying it! - Name a moderator
A parent may be responsible for regularly recalling the rules, and even limiting messages if the flow becomes unmanageable. - Give an example
Finally, only post yourself if necessary. Personal remarks, anecdotes or complaints do not have their place in the group. For any sensitive subject, favor a private exchange with the teacher or the parents concerned. Or a coffee.
And then if it really exhausts you, it is always time to get out of the group, and to stay on conventional means.