Soft swinging, do you know? It is an alternative to swinging that is attracting more and more couples, impatient to spice up their intimate life. Focus on this not so soft practice, with Amélie Boukhobza, clinic psychologist.
Soft Swinging, a watered down version of swinging
According to the initiates, soft swinging is to have intimate relationships without penetration between consenting couples.
“It is a lighter form of swinging, where couples do not go to the sexual intercourse with other partners, but explore other forms of excitement with several. Flirted, kisses, caresses, sometimes reciprocal masturbation … or oral sex. The idea is to share an erotic moment for two, but in an enlarged setting, without going” underlines Amélie Boukhobza.
The influencer Taylor Frankie Paul has also confirmed on the networks that she and her ex-husband, soft swinging followers, had joined different sexual acts (kisses, oral sex …) with other couples, while excluding vaginal or anal penetrations.
During certain evenings, more daring gestures took place, such as simultaneous sexual intercourse in the same room or games where the participants had to guess which man they kissed, sometimes under the effect of alcohol.
What seduces? A limit … rather blurred. “We stay in known ground, without completely transgressing. A way to get out of the duo without (too much) to betray it. To put desire in the couple, sometimes after years of routine. And often, to reassure themselves about their ability to please, to feel, vibrate – without questioning the main commitment”, specifies the psychologist. But this practice that wants to be “gentle“It’s not always, according to the expert.
A practice that has certain limits
On paper, soft swinging does not shock – or little – as it looks like a “light” version of swinging. However, opening your couple is not without danger. “”Because it is not enough to set rules so that emotions align“Recalls Amélie Boukhobza.
“The body can tolerate, but the heart, sometimes, has more harm. There can be a gap between what you accept in theory … and what you feel in practice. The other that laughs too much with someone else. Who looks troubled. That we no longer look like before, or that we look differently. This type of practices is never without consequences, still”. warns the practitioner.
Soft swinging can wake up unexpected jealousies, buried insecurities, old injuries.
“This exercise can also highlight divergent desires, not saying expectations or imbalances already present in the couple. And sometimes, which was supposed to weld, weakens. Because, as in swinging, there is a central question: are the two partners really consenting? Or does one accept just not to lose the other?”, reveals the expert.
The real issue is less activity in itself than the quality of the link. “Do we really talk about it? Do we feel free to stop? Do we feel chosen, desired, respected, even in this game?”.
Finally, soft swinging is not a miracle solution. “This is a two experience, which requires maturity, dialogue, and above all … honesty. With the other, but above all with you”, concludes Amélie Boukhobza.